“I know…”

“What is she doing to you… I’ve never seen you like this…” She asked curiously.

“She’s something… special… she makes me feel normal, like… maybe I deserve something good in my already damned life…” I confessed.

“Listen to your self… what we do Shane, we kill people… we torture them, we break their innocent souls with what we sell… we don’t deserve anything…… are you ever going to understand that?” She said bitterly.

“I already do…” I said.

“Then you should know, that she deserves so much better… you’ll only hurt her…”

“Stop saying that!” I exhaled.

“You know it’s the truth… I’m not here to make you angry, but I’ll do everything to make you realize that you’re making a big mistake…. you can never tell the truth about your self, or are you actually going to confess to her that you’re a mob princess… that you’ve killed people… innocent people in all your raging moments… huh, Shane?” She said coolly. Does she know her words hurt me?

“Why are you saying all of this to me….” I asked her, hurt and confused.

“Because I care for you… and seeing you love struck like this, it really sickens me…” She said.

“Jesus, have you no heart Jenny?”

“No, no I don’t Shane… I lost mine when I pulled my first trigger…” She said cold heartedly.

“I’m not like you…” I said to her weakly.

“You have to be… or you better tell your loving father that you don’t want to be his successor…” She mentioned.

“I’ll try…”

“Try what?” She said, cutting me off.

“I’ll try and make her happy… I’ll try to be the good things that she deserves…” I said with much hope.

“And you will fail Shane… you will fail…” She said with much negativity in her and got up from the seat. She placed a hand on my shoulder; I looked at her… hoping that she’ll understand what I’m feeling.

“I want you to think about this… please, make the right choice…” She said. She also grabbed my hand and she pulled a wad of rolled hundred dollar bills and placed it in my hand. “You know my number…” She said, with that my loyal companion left me. Reminding me to call her if I was ever in doubt or trouble. I hated all the words that were said to me, I hated the truths behind it… I hated that she’s right, but I can never be mad at her. My dark savior, she is.

Why can’t she understand that I want to be happy? Maybe I need to understand why I can’t let Carmen go…

Tbc.. whaddaya think guys???