“Can you please tell me what the hell it is?!” She begged while sobbing the tears out.

“Is there another… girl?? What is it… every single time Shane, you give me these pathetic answers and I’m done with it…” She said angrily and undeniably upset.

“No baby, no… There’s no other girl…” I pleaded. “I love you… you, Carmen… there’s no one else…” I said to her.

“Then… what is it… you don’t work and you say… your dad is lending you money… paying the rent and all and he only has a small advert company…” She said, making no sense to her head. “I-I-I don’t understand… don’t you trust me?” Jesus, she’s breaking my heart with all these questions.

“Of course I trust you… I absolutely trust you…” I replied back. I cupped her face with both of my hands, I want to kiss her and make all this disappears.

“You are hiding something from me…” She repeated again.

“I love you…” I said.

“Oh Shane, this is not the time for it… I’m being serious here; you have a secret that you can’t tell me, is that right?” She asked, the tears haven’t stopped and I don’t know what to say her like any other situation when she asked me all the questions. A minute felt like and hour and after seeming felt like two hours I replied.

“Yes…”

“Why can’t…” She started but I cut her off.

“Cant we forget all this, pretend this never happened…. baby, we were fine like twenty minutes ago… we don’t need this…” I said.

“I do! I need the truth Shane…” she looked at me like I’m a fool.

“I can’t tell you the truth…” I said and I know what she’s gonna say. “Because I love you too goddamn much…

“See, what the hell does that mean?? I feel like I don’t know you because of this…”

“But you do, you know I’m… I’m a NYU graduate… I have a brother…” I tried.

“And that’s all there is to it?? What about your mom?? Who is she?? Who was your first crush?? How old were you when you ride your first bike?? Were you a geek in high school?? How did you meet your friend Jenny??? … I’ve told you every single detail about me and I know nothing about you… nothing….” She said to me.

“Carmen… don’t do this to me…” I said. But there she stood and waiting, not giving up.

“I want you to know everything about me, every single details about me… I do baby, but I can’t…” This is new feeling comes and crash onto me. This feeling of utter sadness and despair and somehow it could never be fixed. Then I feel my hear skips a beat like it’s trying hard to breath properly. I realized that I’m the one; my self is trying hard to breathe properly. Jesus, am I gonna fuckin cry?

“Then tell me baby…” she pleaded, grabbing hold of my shirt and being ever so close to each other.

I’ve been looking down and managed not to look at her in the eyes. Then I stared at her for a while and realize in a second that I’m going to break her heart and I’ll hate my self forever for it. I couldn’t say the words. I shake my head left to right and stopped and hear more cries from her. “Do you love me?” I asked in pathetic ness. She sobbed even more when I asked her.

“You know I do… I can never stop loving you Shane…” She said. She’s going to go now, get away from me. She can’t stand the sight of me. She took the headphone out of my hand. She is still crying and I curse my self with every tear that rolls down her face.