"Shane," her name was addressed with some sort disdain but at the same time Carmen felt good being able to say that name again. It was bitter sweet, Carmen thought saracastically. Shane’s very prescense annoyed her, angered her, but then again… it was a relief. She knew that she was okay, for the most part anyway, and she was safe. So many night Carmen had stayed awake, thinking someone bad had happened. That Shane had gotten hurt, what if she was hurt and you weren’t there to help her? And then there were nights that she just wouldn’t care, or just try and convice herself of it.

On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

Shane wasn’t the only one to notice the band on stage, playing the song "Far away." Carmen had kind of like the band, they were sort of new but sort of weren’t. It was their first night playing tonight too. Seeing to look in Shane’s eyes once they had made eye contact a little bit ago was just too hard. Carmen didn’t want to look at her then because she knew that if she did, she’d fall right back into them. She would just fall in love with Shane McCutcheon all over again. So there she was, sitting there staring at the marble floor like it intrigued. But really, it was that beautiful woman across from her that did. Carmen kept telling herself to be strong, that she could do it. That she couldn’t let Shane do this, go and fuck up and come back to expect to be forgiven. Sure, Carmen believed everything Shane said, she really did. But this wasn’t the first time Shane had done this, and that’s what made the words Shane say almost unbelievable.

Keeping a straight face, Carmen finally spoke," I’m sorry, I really am. But do you honestly think that showing up, after two years after you left everyone at that chapel, making a really passionate speech, maybe cry a few tears is going to really show me how badly you want to redeem yourself? Guess what, Shane? It’s not that easy. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Shane, and you can’t expect them to just start forgiving you because you feel bad about it. And you can’t expect me to just drop everything I have going in my life to just jump back on the fucking wagon for a relationship with you. You hurt me so fucking much Shane, far more than you could ever realize and I don’t think you really even feel a speck of pain and hurt that you’ve caused me. I honestly don’t know what you want from me Shane. At first, you wanted a relationship with me, then you wanted marriage. Then next thing I know your catching a ride out state to go and " think correctly." What kind of thinking is that? Did you know how bad I felt? I actually that I had done something wrong, for the longest time I kept thinking and playing over and over in my head what I had done wrong. I know it’s not right, but I just couldn’t believe that you would do that to me. I just couldn’t believe that you would hurt me this badly. And there were even some times were I just wanted to die. I was killing myself slowly because I wouldn’t even get out of bed for three months. I would just lay there and cry. Of course, everyone was there for me. The whole family was. But… it just wasn’t the same. I wanted you there to hold me, to tell me that everything is going to be okay. That it was all a big joke and I would be sitting there laughing, having a great time and you’d still be there. But it wasn’t. You really did fuck me over, Shane. And no, I’m not going to forgive you, because hontestly I don’t think you diserve it. But I do know one thing, Shane, you are not and never will be be a fuck up. Yeah, you have done some fucked up things, and even though you may think it, you aren’t a bad person. I know you’re not, because I know you. Or, at least I thought I did." Carmen felt relieved but it didn’t help the weight she felt pulling down on her heart. She still felt so horrible, like Shane had come back, said all the things she had been wanting to hear for so long. But, all she had done was re-open those wounds she thought had closed years ago. Shane was staring at Carmen, the shock was apparent. Like she had actually thought Carmen would forgive her just like that, Shane knew she wouldn’t. But just hearing all she said was like a slap in the face. And the mark still stung sharply.