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    Before the Fall – Ten

    Story written on February 24, 2007 by Speed_Racer.
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    Number of Comments: 15
    Words: 4413
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=64687
    Author Notes:

    If you loved someone how far would you go, to get them to love you back? What if they never loved you?

    She hated the way she felt. Out of control and free falling. She hated being helpless. And she felt just as helpless as she had when she’d been a little girl.

    She had promised herself that she would never feel that way again.

    Listening to her own messages made her nauseous. Made her wonder how she could have lent herself to such an emotional display.

    Again and again she’d lain herself bare to Helena in the only way she’d known how. Her thinking had been flawed and her reasoning even more so.

    Why? Why had she allowed herself to be so pathetic? Why couldn’t she have made a choice and stuck to it? She’d led both Helena and Tina on. Hurt them with every smile and every kind word. With every kiss she’d dug herself deeper.

    Angrily she tossed the phone back onto her bedside table and got up.

    She’d been a bitter, conflicted, angry, and cynical person. Was she still that person? Would she always be that person who could be cruel without a thought?

    Without a thought to what she was doing she headed for her closet and maneuvered herself to the ground. Frantically she searched her closet tossing things out as they prevented her from finding what she wanted.

    She had to know if she was still that person. She didn’t know what she’d do if was.

    She was amazed that she had any friends left. She had treated them like she’d treated everyone else in her life, as an afterthought. She didn’t need friends, that had always been her thought. If she paid them no mind sooner or later they would drift away and she would be left alone again.

    She was used to being alone.
    Even preferred to be alone rather than surrounded by people she didn’t give a damn about.

    But the more she’d pushed her friends away the harder they pushed back. When she was cold and standoffish they just laughed and accepted it. When she wanted to be alone they would come over with beer and throw an impromptu party.

    They didn’t let her be.

    She hadn’t appreciated it.

    Had even resented it.

    Could she change?

    Cursing under her breath when she bumped her head against the wall leaning over too far, she tossed aside a pair of Prada boots and finally found what she was looking for.

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    Comments

    10. I love the depth of this… and this story in general. As much as I don’t like cliffhangers you’re able to keep me captivated with every word. Thank you for that and please continue soon.

    11. Come on Bette – work this out! Go and see her! Bette is such a pain in the ass sometimes…I hope she makes good use of her second chance. Great update. Great writing.

    14. Fantastic chapter, as usual. I feel so sorry for Helena, Bette seems so confused, i hope she figures it out and just tells Helena. Can’t wait for the next one, thanks!

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