This has to be about the oddest feeling. I’m in my own house, and I’m a guest, at best. Not an invited guest. An intruder, a trespasser.

All I wanted to do was make sure I didn’t totally ***** things up with dinner.

Did Jess run off because of me? Would she have done this anyway?

She did run off to meet me, initially, so I have to think that some of her impetuousness is innate. I’d like to think that she’s a little like me in that way; forging ahead with plans first, and considering the implications later.

I know that’s selfish of me. I was barely there enough when she was young to leave any kind of a lasting impact. Tina’s alluded to that, but she doesn’t have to. I know it’s the truth, and I can’t stop reminding myself.

So, what to do? Keep barging in on them until maybe someday Tina says that I should stay?

Something tells me Tina will be saying it before Jess does.

The kiss. Tonight’s kiss. Tina’s body remembers me, regardless of how much Tina want to deny that.

Such sweet lips. Soft. They brought back so many memories, warm and bittersweet.

That was such an impulsive and selfish gesture. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Maybe it’s wrong of me to use physical means to break down Tina’s defenses, but they seem to be working. I just wanted to remind her of what we had, and what we can have again.

What would it be like to be living here, with my family? To have the opportunity to again make love to my wife?

The lesson was a long time in the making, but I came to realize that I am not one for ***** without love. It’s a lesson I should have learned early, but I guess I didn’t want to give in to the obvious.

Tina was shaking as she left. I don’t doubt her strength or her ability. But I also know the depth of her feeling, especially for Jess.

I hope that Jess can come to appreciate the lengths that her mother will travel for her.

Can I measure up and be what they need? The more I’m here, the more I see how real it all is. It’s quite understandable why both Jess and Tina would have reasons to not trust me. Can I overcome their objections?

While I sat by the window, musing, I saw a car park outside.

At first I thought nothing of it. I’m far from a local anymore, and so I have no reason to question why any car might be in the area.

Then I noticed against the window, an unmistakable shock of black curly hair.

Jess.

I ran outside and to the car.

Neither she nor the boy inside who’s clearly trying to put clumsy, and unwanted, moves on her appeared to notice me. The passenger side door is locked.

As I ran to the other side I note that Romeo has his window down.

Quickly unlocking his door, I reached in and grabbed his keys. That got his attention.

“Who are you?” he yelled.

He steped out of the car, and I can smell the alcohol.

“I’m looking after Jess.” Who am I, good question, in the scheme of everything. That answer seemed as correct as any.

While the boy advances towards me, I held my ground. I noticed that Jess has unfastened her seatbelt and came crawling through the driver’s side door.

“Go inside, Jess.” Please don’t fight with me.

She looked pale, and a little unsteady, but she complied.

Meanwhile, her intended lothario was getting testy. “Give me my keys, *****!”

“You’re in no shape to drive.” I kept my voice quiet. I will not be bullied by a child. “You can come inside with me and call your parents to come get you.”

“***** that!” he yelled.

My eyes narrowed. I’ve had enough years of living in New York to gauge people. This kid is full of alcohol-fueled bluster, but he’s not dangerous.

“Jess’s mother will have your keys. You can get them when you’re sober.” With that I turned and walked towards the house.

“***** you!” he screamed. “***** you!”

But scream is all he does. I’m tense, listening for the sound of him coming behind me, but I hear nothing. I did see lights going on, and wondered if any of the neighbors would be calling the police. I hope not. Altercation over, go back to bed.

One light that came on is from the house immediately next door. As I’m almost in the front door I hear, “Tina?”

I turned to the voice and see Shane approaching. “*****. Bette!”

She ran towards me, and engulfed me in a hug. “Bette! What the ***** are you doing here?”

That, at this point, is a good question. “Waiting for Tina. She went out to look for Jess, but Romeo,” I gestured toward the boy’s retreating form, “brought her home.”

Shane strained to get a look at him. “That’s not Luis.”

“As in Luis her boyfriend, right?”

Shane nodded. “Last I knew, anyway.”

Luis, not the owner of the keys. I file that bit of info for later.

“Well, he seemed to be putting a clinch on Jess.” Jess. *****! “Oh *****! I suppose I should check on her.”

“Want me to?”

As much as I’d love to pawn off this duty, I was here. I’m the one she’ll blame. “No, but could you give Tina a call and let her know that Jess’s home?”

The two of us headed inside.

Slowly, I walked back to Jess’s room and gave a tentative knock. “Jess?”

From inside comes the sound of movement, but she didn’t speak. I knock again. “Jess?” This time, I said her name louder.

Nothing.

At least I know she’s in there.

“Jess, if you’d like to talk, I’m here.”

Out of curiosity, I tried the door. It’s locked.

Back in the kitchen, Shane was hanging up the phone.

“Did you reach her?”

“She’s on her way.”

That’s good. “How’d she sound?”

Shane shrugged. “How’d you think?”

“Mad.” We both said the word at the same time.

Even under these circumstances, it’s great to see Shane. It’s been almost a year since I’d seen her, even though we keep in touch through phone calls and email.

“So.” She looked at me.

“Yes?” I suppose she wanted to talk about things, but I’m not sure that now is a good time for that.

“How’s it working?” Shane gestures around the house.

That appeared to be the question of the evening. “The jury’s still out.”

“I’m going to head home, then. This seems to be a family thing.”

“Thanks.” I gave her a smile. Shane was always one person who never seemed to take sides, regardless of what kind of fucked-up things I did or said. “Again.”

For this I get another hug. “Anytime.”

And I know she meant it.

Time has certain elastic properties. At times, it rushes. Other times, such as now, it drags. The wait for Tina had to be one of the longest five-minute periods I’d even spent. It was almost worse than her labor. Almost.

When I saw her headlights pulling into the driveway, I urged myself to stand. I didn’t realize how tense I was just sitting there. This is another result of time; I do feel its effects more and more these days.

Tina rushedby me, heading straight for Jess’s room. I hesitated for a moment before following her.

“Jess.” Loud enough to be heard through the door. Then she tried the *****.

“It’s locked,” I stated, quietly.

Again Tina brushes by me. This time she ended up in the kitchen, digging through the junk drawer.

I cleared my throat. That gets Tina’s attention, or at least her gaze, upon me. “Maybe you should just let her sleep.”

“Really? And why’s that?”

“I think she’s had a few drinks.”

I saw Tina’s eyes flash, and I wonder if I’d done more harm than good. Not that Jess could, at this point, hide the fact that she’s been drinking.

Tina returns to rummaging. “How’d she get home?”

“Some boy. I, uh, have his car keys.”

This stopped her. “What?”

“Well, he’d been drinking too. So I took his keys.”

“Great, now I’ll have a parent suing me on top of all of this.”

“Tina, I couldn’t let him drive home drunk. I tried to get him to come in and call for a ride. Besides” Oh *****. Was she ready for the rest? How much does she know about Jess’s dating life?

“Besides what?”

Now I’m faced with angry Tina. The Tina less likely to be rational through all of this.

“I think he was trying to go farther with her than she wanted to go.”

She stopped all movement and just looked at me. “What?”

“In the car. He was leaning over to kiss her, I think.” I hope he was just trying to kiss her.

Tina shakes her head. I don’t know if that helped or hurt Jess’s case. If I’m supposed to act as a parent, why do I feel like a snitch?

She pulled a small screwdriver from the drawer.

I took my chances and stood in her way. “Tina, I don’t think it’ll do any good to yell at her tonight.”

“You don’t, do you? Are you now a parenting expert?”

A low blow and she knows it. I held my ground. “Even Melvin knew to back off the first night I got drunk, and wait for the morning.”

“Melvin? Now you’re judging me by the Melvin rules of parenting?” She shakes her head and brushes by.

“I’m not judging you.” Maybe this wasn’t the best time to bring up my father, but I thought the context was apt. Even he, a stickler for rules, knew the appropriate time to instate a punishment.

She stopped and turned on her heel. “The man said my name once in eight years. He was rarely civil to me, ever. I know you loved him, Bette, but right now, I do not see him as a paragon of parenting virtue.”

I expect she’d been holding that in for long time.

“Bette, this is a family matter. I would be grateful if you would leave it to me to deal with my daughter.”

That’s harsh. I was here for the girl. I’d stay here, be here for Tina. But I guess I’m not family, so I’m not allowed.

With that, it was my time to turn and leave.

(tbc)