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Bette — Plan B; pt. 52
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She can’t be right, can she? Is it possible her parents would really hate her?
I lock eyes with the little bit of malcontent across the room. As much as she postures and plays, I don’t think even she hates me. Strong emotions bring strong responses, but that’s not hate. It’s love that’s been damaged.
I can’t believe that this girl’s parents would really be cruel; but I can understand it would be a shock. “They might be disappointed.” Yes, Jess, not everything goes as you plan. “But they won’t hate you.”
Jeri just seemed to be this oozey little thing at this point. Maybe not as many tears, but sniffly. Dissheveled. Looking like such a little girl I couldn’t help but try to at least get her hair out of her face. A little girl; who’s carrying her own little child.
“You don’t know them.”
Want to talk demanding parents, Jeri? I think I’m aware of that concept, and what happens when a child doesn’t meet expectations in every way. “No, I don’t.”
“But I know what it’s like to disappoint someone you love.”
“Really?”
Oh yes. My worst failure didn’t involve my father, of course. Just me, and my family. “Really.”
“What happened?”
How I wish I could refuse this request. But her eyes, so trusting right now. And those others, so hooded. Perhaps it would help if Jess might understand. I sucked in a deep breath. Ok, short and child-safe version. “I wasn’t there for my family when they needed me. For many reasons, I found life too overwhelming.”
Not that I want to go through a situation like this with Jess anytime soon, but I missed so many of her important milestones. The last time I really held her, she was at the point of taking her first steps. I didn’t get a chance to help her form her first words – although I should hope it was ‘mama.’ It might be selfish of me, but I want her to stay a little girl for as long as possible, and give me one or two more chances to be there for her before she is an adult.
I swiped a tissue to try to mop up a little of Jeri’s face.
What was so important, or so frightening for me back then?. “I took the easy route out, separating myself. Running away, basically. I’ve always regretted it.” Time dulls the pains, but sharpens the regrets
“What did they do?”
Well, we could take a look at hulking lump sitting across the room as exhibit A. “They didn’t take it well.”
“But they forgave you?”
“At the time, I couldn’t forgive myself.” And again, whether or not I can forgive myself depends so much on others. I look again towards Jess. “Whether or not they’ll forgive me, we’ll see.”
That received the non-response I expected. Jeri’s quieted, at least.
Okay, can’t leave her here. If this were Jess, I know Tina wouldn’t want her dealing with these issues with a stranger. Maybe if I accompany her. That’s leaves the question of Jess, who I am so not trusting at this point to be on her own. Moreso than ever.
“Why don’t I take you home?”
Another death-grip. “No.”
It’s not easy, but in the long run, it’ll be for the best. “We’ll talk to your parents.”
“Are you sure?”
Who can be sure of anything? But I’m more willing to take leaps of faith these days. “Do you think they love you?”
She at least nodded to this. “Okay, then, we’ll go talk.”
Now, to park the child while I’m gone. “You’re going to
Off her look, I know it’s not like Jess to make anything easy for me. “I’m going with.”
But my girl has not yet met the word stubborn. If she thinks she can try anything at this point, she is so sadly mistaken. “Jess, we’re not talking about this now, but you are not going along, and you’re not staying by yourself.”
Wow. That earned a shocked look. I guess I can surprise the princess after all.
I grabbed my phone and made arrangements with Al. Now, time to get this caravan moving.
(tbc?)
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Great your back. Missed you.
“Terribly sorry for the delay” No worries; just happy to see you back!
hey we are all a little MIA these days… but glad your back… love your story… hope all goes well at jeri’s house… and jess should just think about what she heard bette say…please continue
Whatev. with the “?” after tbc…you know we want more of this story. I love how it develops itself almost completely through dialogue and the inner monologue of the characters. I understand the lure of the bon bons, but I don’t want to see you being busted out of your house on springer either you know…Glad you’re posting again, don’t be a stranger.
Oh, thank God! I was wondering what happened to you and your fabulous story. Thanks for coming back.
“It’s love that’s been damaged”. That’s the perfect description. As I have said, I believe that Jess has abandoment issues and although she has only recently realized that abdonment, it doesn’t mean that the love can’t be repaired. I think that Bette made great strides in doing just that by 1) Being sensitive and not pejorative with Jeri and 2) When she told Jess that she was not going ‘with’. All kids want boundries…even Jess. Boundries are created out of love. She might not see that at this particular moment, but hopefully she will. If Bette chooses to stay and ‘fight the good fight’ perhaps both Tina and Jess will see that she won’t bolt at the first sign of being overwhelmed.
Did Jeri ever take a pregnancy test, or two to confirm that she was indeed pregnant? I’m also wondering if Jess will address any of what Bette said with Alice.
Once again, a great chapter with great one-liners from Bette’s inner thoughts.
To be continued? You’d better unless you want us to release the furry creatures on you!
well i have been keeping up with your story and love it please continue…
i want more always. motherhood is a bitch but the best one ever. i know, i have 4. glad your back.
OGG, where have you been? I have truly missed you. Thank you for such a lovely chapter. Please stick around and enjoy the party. T
We understand life – We’re glad your back writing for your other family – Great job you were missed.
Welcome back. Great update.
That is awesome!
Yes, please continue, good angle on motherhood with teens
why ? after tbc — please continue — you are in bette’s (pretty) head — always happy to see a chapter posted —- thanks
K
Please continue, wonderful chap, can’t wait for more.
WOW P you came back swinging, good god it’s nice to be in bette’s head you did a fucking awesome job at it. I have to say while you were gone a part of me was missing too. You know how I feel about you and this story and I wish you would go on forever with it. So please please give us a chapter soon, or I might have to take up eating bon bons.LOL
Hope to see you real soon
WOW!
“Strong emotions bring strong responses, but that’s not hate. It’s love that’s been damaged.”
Amazing! So glad to see you back! I hope life has calmed down for you and that everything is okay.
Hey! pseud where did you been LOL! Thanks for coming back to write I’m been So long waiting for your Story Thanks again I Love it Please continue we are missed this Story for a long time okay I’m gonna read now Please post SOON.
Hey Pseud! I’ve missed you! So long in waiting for this post and you have to ask whether to continue? Damn right, continue!!!! This was a great chapter…reward yourself with another bon bon…or several! lol!
Phew! your back..thank goodness was beginning to wonder if you had been kidnapped by the furry creatures…lol…thanks for the chapter P, looking forward to more, yep i for one have missed this story.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming back! I guess Bette needed a moment to get her answers and courage together. And you had to go to the store for more bon-bons!
Thanks!