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Bette’s Loss and Gain (Conclusion)
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He pulled the mask down and looked at her. “Bette,” he said so quietly.
“Hi, Ash.”
“Are you going in?”
She pulled her mask down again, too. It was as if no time had passed between them. They were not hugging and telling each other how good it was to see the other. “Yeah.”
“I – I think I should go in with you. It’s bad, Bette. Really bad. Sterling doesn’t even look like himself. It is so sad.” Ash’s shoulders started to shake and Bette moved to embrace him, but he stepped away. “I’ll go in with you.”
“No, you don’t have to.”
“I should. He’s not the same guy, Bette. Not at all. God, this thing…this AIDS…*****.”
He pulled the mask back up to cover his mouth and nose and she did the same and they entered the room together.
* * * * *
“Sterling died two days later. He didn’t even know us when we were there, but at least we got to say goodbye,” Bette told Alice.
“Did you and Ash talk?”
“No. He sat with me in the hospital room, then as it was winding down, he said he had to rush off to the train station, that he couldn’t miss his connection. I know that if he had wanted to talk with me, he would have rearranged his schedule. Maybe then it was still too fresh.”
“Four years?”
“Well, like you said, it’s been nearly twenty and there’s still something there.”
Bette stared off, looking out the back window onto the pool area.
“What are you thinking? Alice asked.
Bette sighed. “Hmm. That I need to really talk to him. We never had real closure. I just walked away and he let me. We never talked about what I was feeling and why and we never grieved together.”
“So you’re going on your date tomorrow, then?”
“Yeah, but before that, I have something else to do.”
“What?”
“Talk to Tina. I love her. If we’re not going to somehow work this out; if she wants nothing to do with me, then I want to give us that closure, too. I don’t wanna be sixty years old and still have this unresolved between us. I want us back together. I want her in my life, in my bed. And if we can’t have that…If we can’t have that…” Bette’s eyes drifted back outdoors.
The End
Notes:
Music: “Sugar Walls,” by Sheena Easton, “Careless Whisper,” by Wham, and “Crazy for You,” by Madonna
Footage from “Out of Africa,” “The Color Purple,” and “Jagged Edge” used without permission from Universal Pictures, Warner Brothers, and Columbia Tri-Star respectively.
Poster of Prince furnished by Warner Brothers Music
Poster of Ah-Ha furnished by Wea International Music
Clothing and shoes furnished by Nordstrom’s (West Side Pavilion – Los Angeles, CA), LL Bean, Lands End, and Macy’s (1985—New Haven, CT)
Special thanks to UCLA’s School of Art and Architecture for use of the sculpture garden and lecture hall
Special thanks to Willoughby’s Coffee House and Mamoun’s Falafel Restaurant for use of their establishments
Special thanks to the staff at Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library and the Yale Art Gallery for use of their spaces.
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I just finished reading the entire story in one sitting and I am overwelmed. Gail had just the right amount of maturity and young Bette had just the right amount of immaturity. Everything was so believable and sweet. I have no idea how Alice sat through the telling without a cold shower at the end. Bravo, wonderfully compelling
God this was so amazing. You had so much raw emotion running through this whole story…i was suppoed to be in bed an hour ago to wake up for work in the morning. I read the forst two chapters and told myself i could finish tomorrow, but it was just too good. Wow…wow…
Excellent! It was made even better by having each chapter posted together so that I could read them all in one sitting. I haven’t put the laptop down since I started reading.
Awesome! I read them all – you got Bette totally right on. Careful the show may steal this story! And the music, I knew every song. Sugar Walls indeed.. write again soon.
Oh my God. This story was FANTASTIC! I couldn’t stop reading til I got to the end!
I sat up when I saw your name–excitedly I began to read. This story is amazing. Thank you for taking me into this voyage of self discovery. Love reading your works. Bravo!
Also wanted to say thank you for posting your entire story at once.
Okay I just read all of these and you are truly talented–your stories are so clear and vivid I feel like I know Bette a litte better. Thanks for sharing this. EXCELLENT!!!!!
This story is absolutely amazing. Thanks so much for sharing and for posting it all in one go. I truly enjoyed it.
That was an amazing journey…so powerful…I hope this isn’t the last we hear from you…I get so lost in your writing…beautiful portia…thank you.
BRILlIANT.
Thanks also for posting your entire story.
That was well written! Great story and thanks for posting it all at a go.
I had many things to do today but once I started your story I had to read through it all. Your writing is lively and vivid and great fun to read. Thank you so much.
Spectacular – wonderfully written throughout!! Hot and inviting!!
That was a wonderful story you are an excellent writer..But I wish you would have ended it with ore of a conclusion with Tina Please don’t end it here..
wow! every chapter was wonderful! i’m kind of dazed from the sheer power of the story itself and an added bonus of the imagery and your writing is astonding. very very good. thanks for writing this. :D
Wonderful story! Thanks!
Greaaaaaaaatttttt!!! thanks bunches…
Read your story into the wee hours of the morning. I just had to keep reading it was so beautiful. I love Bette and you really get her. Thanks for this great comming out story. I also want to say that your writting is wonderful, please give us more.
This was wonderful to read. Like every one else, I started the first chapter, thinking I would read a couple before going to bed. That didn’t happen, and the next thing I knew, it was 1:00…and I was wishing there was just one more chapter to read. Thank you so much. Your talent is big and out there for all to see…and is obvious with the very first sentence.
Bravo Portia! That was excellent. The detailed way you describe where they are, the dialogue…all of it is just fabulous. I look forward to more, of course! Thanks again for this.
Wow 5 stares. This is a amazing, every chapter I read is so much good and excellent! You do a great job and sharing this with us, I reall love it! Thank you so much for excellent story! I hope to see you on next time with more amazing story!
Loved this story. And I was psyched to see you had posted, as I used to read your stories when I first got into fan fic here. :D Excellent job. 5 stars!!