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Bette’s Loss and Gain (Conclusion)
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“What did you expect?”
“Just anger. Not hatred.” Bette paused, stared into her coffee cup, then looked up. “Do you think Tee hates me?”
“I couldn’t answer that.”
“It would kill me if she did. I’d rather die than have her hate me. Why couldn’t I have just told Tina what was going on with me? Why didn’t I do the right thing like I did with Ash?"
"Right thing? You dumped him when he was about to propose."
"But I didn’t cheat. I wasn’t unfaithful. I honored our relationship that way. I did. I don’t want Tina to hate me."
“It’s a thin line, Bette.”
Bette shook her head. “I am such a ***** up. Such a total and complete ***** up. I guess I could live with Ash hating me. I did live with it. But Tina hating me…I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t go on knowing that the only emotion she had left for me was hatred.”
Alice nodded. What could she say?
Bette’s elbow was on the table and she leaned her mouth against her fist, holding it there in thought. “I’ve got to start doing something right in my life,” she said mostly to herself.
“So you didn’t see him on campus again?”
“Somehow we managed to travel different paths that last semester. I was so into Gail and spending time with her that I was hardly on campus. I had two independent studies and an internship at the top gallery in Hartford. I wasn’t around much. I moved in with Gail and stayed there until I graduated. Funny cause Ash had asked me to move into his apartment many times and I said no. I wanted my space. With Gail, I couldn’t stand being away from her. I was so in love with her. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind about that. Young love. I had my choice of schools. I was accepted to each one I had applied and none of them held an interest for Gail. She didn’t want to go to Boston or London. Los Angeles was out of the question for her. And she kept telling me it was my decision. When I did choose, she wished me luck with all of my future plans. It was kinda the ‘I’m moving to Hot Springs,’ thing. We were breaking up, but it seemed like we weren’t. The last time we were together was graduation weekend. Gail met Dad who was actually pleasant to her. The fact that I graduated *summa ***** laude* I’m sure had something to do with it. If I hadn’t, he probably would have found a way to sue her for leading me astray. There was this one moment during the ceremony, though. I had just received my degree with a separate certificate for my honors status. Gail was thrilled and had to share the moment with me. I was just elated, it felt like I was literally floating across the stage. She met me at the steps and when I was down, she threw her arms around me and we laughed and hugged. I turned and saw Daddy and he was glaring at me with such abhorrence. I pulled away from her and then felt guilty that I did, but you know, my father was there… Gail noticed all of it and I felt bad. She didn’t say anything, but it showed on her face. Anyway, that weekend, I packed up my things and my father had the movers take my stuff back to Philly. I spent a couple of nights with Gail and it was kind of, I don’t know, bittersweet. It was ending and we were both being grown up about it. We made love and it wasn’t with the frenzy we’d done it with for the past six months. It was gentle and kind and just so loving, ya know? It was a great way to end, I suppose. We went on with our lives separately. Daddy was so sick of me moping around that he sent me to Europe that summer. By late July, I had met an art student named Monica de Santorio and we had a hot affair.”
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I just finished reading the entire story in one sitting and I am overwelmed. Gail had just the right amount of maturity and young Bette had just the right amount of immaturity. Everything was so believable and sweet. I have no idea how Alice sat through the telling without a cold shower at the end. Bravo, wonderfully compelling
God this was so amazing. You had so much raw emotion running through this whole story…i was suppoed to be in bed an hour ago to wake up for work in the morning. I read the forst two chapters and told myself i could finish tomorrow, but it was just too good. Wow…wow…
Excellent! It was made even better by having each chapter posted together so that I could read them all in one sitting. I haven’t put the laptop down since I started reading.
Awesome! I read them all – you got Bette totally right on. Careful the show may steal this story! And the music, I knew every song. Sugar Walls indeed.. write again soon.
Oh my God. This story was FANTASTIC! I couldn’t stop reading til I got to the end!
I sat up when I saw your name–excitedly I began to read. This story is amazing. Thank you for taking me into this voyage of self discovery. Love reading your works. Bravo!
Also wanted to say thank you for posting your entire story at once.
Okay I just read all of these and you are truly talented–your stories are so clear and vivid I feel like I know Bette a litte better. Thanks for sharing this. EXCELLENT!!!!!
This story is absolutely amazing. Thanks so much for sharing and for posting it all in one go. I truly enjoyed it.
That was an amazing journey…so powerful…I hope this isn’t the last we hear from you…I get so lost in your writing…beautiful portia…thank you.
BRILlIANT.
Thanks also for posting your entire story.
That was well written! Great story and thanks for posting it all at a go.
I had many things to do today but once I started your story I had to read through it all. Your writing is lively and vivid and great fun to read. Thank you so much.
Spectacular – wonderfully written throughout!! Hot and inviting!!
That was a wonderful story you are an excellent writer..But I wish you would have ended it with ore of a conclusion with Tina Please don’t end it here..
wow! every chapter was wonderful! i’m kind of dazed from the sheer power of the story itself and an added bonus of the imagery and your writing is astonding. very very good. thanks for writing this. :D
Wonderful story! Thanks!
Greaaaaaaaatttttt!!! thanks bunches…
Read your story into the wee hours of the morning. I just had to keep reading it was so beautiful. I love Bette and you really get her. Thanks for this great comming out story. I also want to say that your writting is wonderful, please give us more.
This was wonderful to read. Like every one else, I started the first chapter, thinking I would read a couple before going to bed. That didn’t happen, and the next thing I knew, it was 1:00…and I was wishing there was just one more chapter to read. Thank you so much. Your talent is big and out there for all to see…and is obvious with the very first sentence.
Bravo Portia! That was excellent. The detailed way you describe where they are, the dialogue…all of it is just fabulous. I look forward to more, of course! Thanks again for this.
Wow 5 stares. This is a amazing, every chapter I read is so much good and excellent! You do a great job and sharing this with us, I reall love it! Thank you so much for excellent story! I hope to see you on next time with more amazing story!
Loved this story. And I was psyched to see you had posted, as I used to read your stories when I first got into fan fic here. :D Excellent job. 5 stars!!