Bette had read several pages and found herself nodding in empathy for the poor heart as the head reprimanded it.  The head’s last statement she had heard in her own mind many times in the last few days.  Ash should have been her focus, especially on those evenings they spent together, but that wasn’t the case.  Her only thoughts were of Gail and that’s when her head would tell her to stop being so foolish, to think about what she was pushing herself toward, to be careful.  Yes, her head had called her incorrigible.

The Head spoke again: *This is not a world to live at random in, as you do. To avoid those eternal distresses, to which you are forever exposing us, you must learn to look forward, before you take a step which may interest our peace. Everything in this world is matter of calculation. Advance then with caution, the balance in your hand. Put into one scale the pleasures which any object may offer; but put fairly into the other, the pains which are to follow, and see which preponderates.*

Bette hated how the head had spoken to her with such logic, such pure understanding without any insight about her as a loving, passionate woman.  In her head, she heard only her father’s voice speaking those same words: imprudent, foolish, and random.  And her head spoke to her, too about what it made her if she loved a ***** woman, a *****; if she wanted to make love with one.  What would society call her?  How would this affect the future she had obsessed over and cultivated these last four years?

Heart:  *Every moment was filled with something agreeable. The wheels of time moved on with a rapidity, of which those of our carriage gave but a faint idea. And yet, in the evening, when one took a retrospect of the day, what a mass of happiness had we traveled over!  Retrace all those scenes to me, my good companion, and I will forgive the unkindness with which you were chiding me.*

Bette thought of the day she met Gail.  She had immediately found her attractive; they had an instant rapport.  As they became friends, Bette’s world opened up.  Gail knew art, but so much more.  She was fascinating.  Whether she was talking pointedly about Ronald Reagan’s voodoo economics or offering her opinion on the importance of musicians getting together to record ‘We Are the World,’ to fight hunger in Africa.  Gail spoke with conviction, honesty, and always excitement.