Heart: *But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. I will recur for proof to the days we have lately passed. On these, indeed, the sun shone brightly. How ***** did the face of nature appear! Hills, valleys, chateaux, gardens, rivers, every object wore its liveliest hue! Whence did they borrow it? From the presence of our charming companion. They were pleasing, because she seemed pleased. Alone, the scene would have been dull and insipid: the participation of it with her gave it relish.*

Bette had convinced herself that Willoughby’s served the best coffee and muffins in the nation.  Everything tasted better around Gail.  The Connecticut winter didn’t seem dull and gloomy, leaving her cold to the bone, but a sultriness settled in her heart.  Bette felt not only warm, but aglow.  It wasn’t about *****.  She had, she thought most likely, fallen in love with her best friend.

Bette read and re-read ‘The Head and Heart’ Letter.  Gail had been right.  One hundred and ninety-nine years and two months earlier, Thomas Jefferson was feeling what she felt now—torn apart, wretched with longing, desperate to find the right answer to calm the ardor that burned within.

Bette slowly got back into sweaters and hooded L.L. Bean tan parka and left the library.

* * * * *

Bette walked around campus all day.  She was freezing, but it didn’t seem to matter.  She knew that Ash was probably looking for her.  That didn’t matter, either.  Bette guessed that Gail was wondering why she hadn’t seen her today.  That mattered, only because she didn’t really want Gail to worry, but she couldn’t face her.  Thomas Jefferson, a forty-something year old man living in Colonial times had been all fucked up when it came to love, too.  So what?  It didn’t help to know that they were two fools together.  What was she going to do?  What was she going to do?

At 4:30, she moved in the direction of her dormitory, but instead of going inside, she walked to the parking lot.  She bit her bottom lip as she turned the key in the lock and slipped into the driver’s seat of her Volvo.