Shane’s POV

I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. Nothing could turn back the time. Nothing could heal this pain I’ve been feeling. Nothing could bring my daughter back, the one that has been keeping me alive. She is my daughter, My Lily, My savior, and I love her to death. I wish I could trade places, I wish that I have been in that car, next to Carmen, not her. Not my daughter who had so much life. So much of… life. I wish to take mine right now.

I wrecked the three chairs that were left in the corridor of that level. I left black streaks from my shoes on the hospital wall. It’s been a full week since my daughter passed. I had one last look at her after my random outburst of emotions. I got into the quiet room and the smell of medicine mix with clean detergent kind of smell was nauseating me. Alice held my hand tighter as we get close to the bed and I could hear the sniffles from Ed.

I touched her face, her lips, her nose, her eyelids, her soft cheeks and it made me cry again in that room. I wasn’t making any noise while I was crying but tears kept on streaming down my face. I wanted to stop my self but I couldn’t. I just simply couldn’t. I looked at her and stroked her long brown wavy hair. She’s got the hair of her biological mother. I saw the still red stitched up cut, the one that the doctor was talking about, and the one that took her life. I kissed her forehead; I figured that was the last time I was going to kiss her forehead. The thought of that… I just couldn’t fathom it.

“Ah Lil…” I let out unexpectedly. I didn’t know what to say really although I wanted too. I thought about it for a second but I just kept on staring at her and the tears kept rolling.

“Lil… I’m so sorry…” I said, I didn’t really know what I was apologizing for perhaps I could have stopped Carmen or made Lily to ride in the car with me instead. “You know… I’m gonna have a real hard time without you…real hard time baby…” I kind of whispered. Suddenly I thought of something that never really comes across my mind before. I thought of heaven and I thought of Lily should be there right now. Though my self doesn’t believe in such a thing, and I guessed that’s one of the things that pained me the most. Don’t know where she is now. If she’s in heaven and I pray to all the gods that she is… is she going to be alright by her self? All of that come rushing through my brain and I tried my best to stop it. “I love you and I always will Lil…” I said my last words to her. I hoped she heard me, I hoped she was looking down on me from the high heavens and heard my words. I kissed my daughter one last time on her forehead and kissed on her petite lips.