I straightened my self out. I walked out of the room without Ed and Alice. I never knew what the two of them did in the room, what they said to Lily. I wondered what Alice would say.

I could feel the dampness on my shirt from my tears and how’s penetrating through the blood stain. I thought that I should really change. I walked to where Carmen is now. I managed a private room for her. There are all kinds of wires and tubes going into and out of her. I looked at heart monitor and hear it beeps like in TV’s and films. For a moment I realized how serious her condition is. I could see her cuts and grazes. A flashed of Lily’s face came across me. I stood there not near her but just near the door. I couldn’t bring my self to get close to her. After minutes of standing I somehow brought my self next to her bed. “You know Carmen… in my head just then… I was going to blame this on you…” I said and I was going to. “But… there’s no point to it…” I said and I realized she doesn’t even know that she just lost her daughter. I brought my hand over my mouth and let a sigh. “Carmen… how could you…” I said quietly and I stopped my self from starting the blaming game. I’m not going to lie but I thought of Carmen should’ve have been Lily’s place but I cursed my self at the thought of it. I looked at her face even with all that cuts and bruises; still I could see her beauty. I held her hand softly and thought of how I wish I could feel the same sadness towards Lily, but it’s different… she’s still breathing and her heart are still beating.

Without saying another word I took my hand away and in my mind I wished her a good night. I walked out of the room and met with Ed and Alice outside. I looked at Alice’s eyes and saw how badly this has affected her to. Somehow I had to be strong, for Alice and Ed. I don’t know what it is and maybe it is just me but I know I had to be strong for them and for my self. I got close to Alice and my arm went around her neck. I kissed the side of her head and I smelt her fruity shampoo. I looked over to Ed and I gave him hug, I knew he was very close to Lily almost like his big brother.