“I’ll leave you two alone now…” She said getting her bag on the floor. She walked passed me and got out of the room. I nodded in confusion and sat next to Carmen.

“Tomorrow is our daughter’s funeral… I’m sorry that you didn’t get the time that you wanted to spend with her…” I said to her, hoping she could hear me, maybe she did.

“She’s gone Carmen… and god knows how much I want to say it’s all because of you…” I said and shake my head. “I’m not gonna say it to you… but I don’t know if I can stop thinking about it…” I said the truth to her. I got up and again in my head I wished that she got better. I didn’t know why I couldn’t verbally say it; I had this thought that maybe I cant say nice things to her anymore. It’ll either be bad or just normal.

I walked out of the private room and went to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. Then I saw Tasha sitting down. I got my coffee and sat in front of her, it surprised her that I did that, well I kind of surprised my self when I did it. “Listen… You love her don’t you?” I let out wanting to know how this woman feels towards Carmen. “Look, Just answer me okay… I know what went on between the two of you… so just give me your answer…” I said in a hurry. “Yes, I do… I do love her…” Tasha said. I sat there for a moment, this Tahsa been waiting for Carmen for nearly a decade. I wasn’t angry or upset but it cleared my head. I nodded and still looked at her. “Then love her… take care of her… don’t, don’t hurt her…” I couldn’t believe I said that last bit. Here I want Carmen to live and feel the pain of losing a daughter but I’m telling her big-possibility-future-lover to not hurt her. I left her without confusing my self even more.

Here I am in my bedroom and only a week after my daughter’s funeral. I don’t know how much I’ve cried and I really do think that there’s no more tears left in me. That night after the funeral, me and Alice went back to my place and I told her not to leave me and she didn’t. I had my sudden outburst of cries in the middle of the night, then I felt Alice hands would wrapped around my body. She doesn’t even say anything, she just hugs me. She would kiss me on my lips when she gets up in the morning and left for work. At night times we’ve been holding each other and stares into each other eyes and we would fall asleep in that position. I can touch her face all my life.