Fan Fiction
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Breathe- Chapter 12
Bette’s pen paused as disappointment crossed her face. “Hair?” she asked, “Unless it has an intact follicle and you tell me you can get DNA from it, I’m not sure how excited to get about hair.”
“Bette, you have so little faith,” James said as Bette patiently waited out the pause he always insisted to increase impact. “I didn’t say it was human,” he finished.
Now he had Bette’s attention. “Not human? What cat, dog, horse, gooeyduck, razor clam?” she asked ticking through the most common animals in the Puget sound and throwing in a few shell fish to see if he was paying attention.
“Very funny. For your information Bette, the last time I went clamming I didn’t notice any with hair.” James scolded. “No, at first I was thinking horse too. But when I isolated the strand the striation wasn’t right for equine. In fact, it wasn’t right for any domestic animal I checked.?”
“So, if we can’t determine origination, I’m not sure its going to be the star witness at the upcoming trial,” Bette liked the thought of catching this monster and watching him sweat in front of a jury of his peers.
“I didn’t say I didn’t find it, I said it wasn’t any domestic animal,” James offered. “There were some odd nicks in the strands and blood at the root. I tested the blood, and it isn’t human so it wasn’t transferred at the crime scene. I scoped the unusual pattern around the blood stain and I swear it resembled the way the locusts used to eat my Grandma’s garden,” James hesitated making sure Bette was keeping up.
“Got it,” Bette said, surprisingly calm and focused after her exchange with her Captain. “So what did the locust’s drool tell you?” Bette asked.
“It wasn’t drool, Bette. It was the markings. I assumed they were made by some type of insect. I faxed over the magnified picture of the strand to the entomology lab at the University of Washington and sure enough, it was ticks.”
Bette ran her fingers through her hair. “So ticks had been gnawing on this single strand of hair that you retrieved from a crime scene in downtown Seattle? Does that make any sense, James, or am I slipping?”
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(67 votes, average: 4.06 out of 5)
Oh my, this is really really good…I don’t comment much too… just wanna let you know I’m looking forward to your mysterious yet romantic story… love the CSI part, don’t worry… just do what you think is right… ;)
I love the CSI stuff; it gives the BnT story a fresh perspective. Also, I didn’t think the chapter was too long. Hell, I read the complete story only yesterday, so I wouldn’t mind another marathon of chapters. Great writing——a couple of typos aside——this story is well-written and utterly engaging. I totally feel the pair’s connection. Kudos to you!
happy feet. saw your post. you couldnt put enough pages to make this story to long for me. navigating these waters is gonna be difficult. elk hair. hummm. i love csi stuff. btw (ot) b&tf is part of our club. she lives here also. kinda fun to hang with someone as obsessed as me. lol. (ot) this story is captivating, thoughtful awesome. please post asap.
I have only commented on 1 story before but I really felt the need to comment on yours. This story is absolutely FABULOUS! I have been reading fan-fiction since it began. (I am a die-hard Tina & Bette fan!) CSI and CSI Miami are two of my favorite shows on TV. I love how you have incorporated the forensics into this story. It is truely fascinating!!!
Oh man this just gets better. Now I’m going to have to obsess over checking this site very day again and I was just getting better.
Awww…so sad to hear about the closing of the 13 Coins. I can’t tell you how many times I ate at that restaurant, after partying at the local women’s bars!! When I was just coming out, there was a bar just up the street called Eastlake East. At the time, it was the largest women’s bar on the west coast. My apartment was in between the bar and the resturant. Oh yes…good times! Your descriptions of Bette and Tina’s emotions, as well as how they move when they are in each others presence, is just exquisite. Thank you for what I am sure is an incredible amount of time spent thinking about, and then writing this story. Oh, and how I am supposed to concentrate on writing my next chapter, when all I can do is anxiously await yours?
I love CSI. Miami and L V, NY is a little to dark for me. I like it so much I watch the reruns on the off days, I love this story,Bette seems to know her job well, Bobbie must have been her partner and got killed by some one. THANKS
Now the mystery is unfolding, that’s good, and you get five stars for that :)
I loved the way she talked to her Captain, I found back THE Bette Porter from the L word, it was great!
Please, keep up the good job, as you always do with this story, I’m so hooked up to this :)
And no worries about long chapters, I think I’ll adjust just fine ;D
xxx
The way I see it sox, the longer the chapter the better.. feel free to go on for hours at a time, everybody needs the freedom to express themselves aye, who are we to stop you!!
each one is actually better then the last and considering the first one was awesome I think we are well onto mind-blowing by now! :D
This is a great story Sox.Please keep writing.I like CSI stuff. I used to watch alot of Forensic Files and other stuff having to do with real crime stories.Can’t wait for their first time.
How much better can it get? I love CSI and L-Word. Just read all of the chapters and you have me hooked. Keep posting..
Again, great story. I’m in Woodinville so am thinking of places about 45 mins. out of Seattle with Elk……….Anyway, will eagerly await the next chapter. Am almost sad it is so nice outside today as you may be playing and not writing!
Oh, yes do punish us with such long chapters…we have been so tardy in reading them that we deserve to be punished!!!! Yes bring it on!!! TKS for all your effort in this story…truly a piece of art!!!
Just caught up on the last couple of chapters and can’t wait for you to publish more. Such a great story. Someone earlier mentioning that when you finish this story that you should consider changing the names and trying to get it publish and I so totally agree. There are a couple of publishing companies of lesbian fictions that accept submissions.
Sox, an incredibly compelling story! You are expertly interweaving the emotional and forensic. I liked Bette’s inner monologue whether or not their attraction was just a result of the circumstances. Seems that would be a realistic thought, at least at initially.
I also like the Bette is smart enough to realize that she might be a little too close to the situation to do justice in interviewing Tina.
Elk hair, eh? Hmmm, could this link the killer to other homicides in other parts of the country or continent…like Canada, maybe? Does the killer have some unknown tie to the reporter from the hospital?
So many wonderful things about this story. I find myself ignoring everything else (including my tea kettle whistling) while I am reading your story. Bravo! Can’t wait for more.
Excellent chapter. I love the mystery element, and I love the way the relationship is developing. Can’t wait to see how they get on when the outside world and the investigation kicks in. Looking forward to more, plese post soon.
sox – this story is amazing – the detail of both emotion and mystery – the romantic mystery as well as the mureder mystery. I’m with you as it unfolds from your mind – thanks. ~bfan
Each Sunday, I select one writer and read all of their work…today it was you Sox — This is so wonderful. You are terrific thanks for your talent…I have now added you to my daily favorites but must say it was delightful to spend today reading your work from start to finish…You are indeed most talented.
Keep going nice post
That was so good!
I dont usually comment but to hell with the habits…this story is SO worth it. I was sooooooo damn giddy, skippin in my chair when I saw your new chappy just now…your story is too compelling, intriguing,fascinating,captivating….Im hooked to it like super-glue..LOL
Oh and dont worry that it might be long..I was hoping it would never end, seriously. I was so psychd when it was 5 pages first of all and then I kept throwin glances at the scroll bar to see how fast one page was finished and to my happiness it was such a lengthy, thourough, intense read.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Now I personally dont mind the CSI parts…it all makes up for a great reading experience. In all the suspense and everythin else happening too I just need to kepp tellin myself not to chew my nails down while reading..*haha*!!! KEEP it UPPP!!!!:-D
Oh and i luved Bette takin it out on her boss..he didnt see that coming.lol
Btw,so how long before Bette tells Tina ‘everthing’ bout her past?
Write on!!! Thanks. Love it.
i was cranky this morning because my daughter got me up before dawn. But all is right with the world after reading your story Sox. It’s just so damn good!
Great chapter. I quite like the CSI stuff it all goes to make the story for me, I can try to follow the clues.LOL Bette is going to have to explain that she has crossed the line to Tina because Tina doesn’t seem to have realised that. There is no getting away from it, it is going to cause a massive problem through the whole investigation and if there is one the trial (though I guess Bette will end up shotting him while he towers over Tina with a huge knife!). It is also going to put an enormous strain on the new relationship – one that is so complicated without all the extraneous stuff. After all that is said there is the murderer coming after them! Man this story rocks:-)
so elk hair, that’s weird i didn’t know there was elk in seatle
So a question and it might be cause I really tried and it’s 430 am but when you did the killers chapter you said he, but in this chapter you said the reporter was a she. Are they different reporters??
Or am I just making things up
This story is so good it makes for compulsive reading! Please keep the chapters coming.
Simply amazing, I am on pins and needles wondering where this is going. The intensity of B & T’s feelings has been written superbly. How the main characters will make it through these complicated days ahead, I don’t know. How I will make it until the next chapter, I don’t know that either. Perfect.
Sorry if I repeat myself from previous comments, but this is great … again.
This is so realisic. I mean that yes, Bette met Tina 31 hours ago and yes, she is failing for her. And there is the external world approaching both of them …whaou !!! I can’t wait for your next chapter.
Personally I am fine with the CSI stuff. The way you describe the atmosphere and give us some clue, it is perfect.
I assume Bette past will have a role in the way she will deal with her new found love, it has to be. Also even if I perfectly understand that Tina does not have any problem to deal with her feelings for Bette, it will probably be another story when she will be confronted to the outside world ? Not that I want to see her rejecting herself or Bette, but questions should play in her mind …
Read you soon … TKS
I have just caught up today and have left you other messages. I hope you don’t get tired of me telling you how much I love your story. I get spellbound by it. Thanks for the strong Bette. I like how she made a choice nice thanks
More. Squeee, please.
You should look into getting a book deal! Your writting is captivating, well-paced, balanced and I am enjoying the way you are developing this story. Long chapters are a bonus! BRAVO
bring it ooonnnn….loving your story as always!!! please post again soon.
great spin to the B&T story Sox. This story is very interesting. post soon
“long chapter” no complaints ;-)
Wonderful chapter, thank you so much !
It’s such a daily pleasure to read your story…
Well, Bette’s position became pretty hard to deal with. And so Tina’s interview will certainly be a deeply painful experiment on every possible ways.
Now, more than ever, I cannot wait to discover the next update of your so sensitive and truly well-written story !
There must be something in the air up there, that breeds people with exquisite writing and storytelling abilities. Sox and Seahurst (no disrespect to all the other brilliant authors on this fansite) but it’s just amazing. The brisk salt air, maybe?! Whatever it is, I am just in awe of your stories, and how you take us through and draw us into each emotion and situation. In commenting I find that I’m inadequate to express my great appreciation for your stories. Sox, I’ll never flip passed another investigated crime story again, without the new found appreciation I’ve gained from your writing. As you take us through their challenges, doubts, and reasonings to get to the murder, and then to their relationship, after all that madness I will be intently awaiting each new post. You give us so much intensity, and intrigue, in one post, that I almost feel ungrateful to ask for more. So, I’ll just wait patiently. Have a great weekend.
glad your posting chapters pretty quick,im addicted
Wow, what more can be said? This story is simply incredible. Thank you for bringing it to us. Please post soon!
this story is really great. i’m so glad you’re writing it. thanks!
That was so long which i love…this is building up great…now with the Elk hair interesting…this story is awesome.
Thank you.
SOX… i love this story… you know i had a bad feeling about that male nurse at the hospital… i wonder if her is in some way conected to this creap… what a stroy… and i am not one for murder mysteries but you got me… so keep on typing and i will always keep on commenting…thanks…oh and the chapters are never too long…please continue
Excellent story. I usually don’t like the whole murder/mystery genre but your story has me absolutely hooked. Thanks for the long chapter…it’s so good I still wanted more. Great job!
WOW! Everytime I’m able to log on there are like multiple posts of this story and I get to read for 30-45 minutes! Yipee!!! I love this story, of course the B&T loving but this is like the first fic that really has this underlying plot to it that seems so real. You are so talented, send this out to some publishers!! I think you’re going at the right speed, the details are amazing, again, I LOVE this STORY!!!!
This is an amazing story! I’m totally addicted!
I love this story. . .and could read it all day long. Please post again soon!
What!? They shut the 13 Coins down, when? I just ate there less than a year ago. I’m losing the pulse on my hometown since I moved last winter. Sigh :-(
Now, on to reading your story, which I LOVE!
ELK HAIR?? MAYBE HE IS A HUNTER? I LOVGE HOW BETTE IS SO STRONG…I SOOOOOOOOO LOVE THIS STORY…THE LONGER THE BETTER..THANKS POST SOON
wow..this is getting better!!!!!! fascinating! post soon!!