Fan Fiction
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Calamity Bette
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The saloon doors swung open as the cowboys lunged forward, supporting two blood stained men as they mumbled and swore, holding their wounds as they headed to the bar for the sustenance of a shot of alcohol to calm their nerves.
“When you’re ready Joe” the man called to the bartender.
“Tell us all about it.” The other man said as they topped up the empty glasses with the amber liquid.
Calamity Bette walked through the crowd as she heard the commotion, “What happened? Who got cha?” she said as she looked from one blood and sweat soaked face to the other.
“Indians. War party…” the grey haired man said.
“There were five of us…, two surveyors and a lieutenant from the Fort… they jumped us at Eagle Pass…” the other cowboy said as he poured a further measure and swigged it back.
“They killed the surveyors and the lieutenant…” the grey haired man mumbled as he too gulped the much needed alcohol.
Calamity looked panicked, “What lieutenant?” she asked eagerly.
“Gilmartin, her name was.” The grey haired man said.
“They got Shane Gilmartin?” Calamity said with shock as Tina put her hand comfortingly on Calamity’s shoulder.
“They got her, all right. The others, too…” the other said.
“The rotten savages!” a voice said in the background as the rest of the crowd joined in the surmising of the account being told.
“How did they get her? Quick? Clean? In the heart?” Calamity said, hoping her precious Lieutenant didn’t suffer.
“I reckon. Or in the head…”
“Maybe both.”
“Don’t you know?” Bette asked, looking from one to the other as they leaned on the bar, eager for more information.
“They got her plenty.”
“They got her quick and fast.”
“Her horse went down. She died right where she fell.”
“Didn’t you go back and find out for sure?” She said in disbelief.
“How could we? How the blazes could we go back…, they chased us for ten miles, showering us with arrows.”
“You left her didn’t cha…,” Bette said in absolute disgust, “you never went back to see if she was dead or alive… You slab-sided, white-bellied coyotes…, you left Shane like I wouldn’t leave a hurt dog!” She slapped the grey haired man across the shoulder as she strode through the crowd, her emotions brimming at the mere thought that the Indians could have killed Shane.
Tina watched in horror, not only at the story the men told, but how upset Calamity was as she stormed towards the saloon doors, “hey Calam, where are you going?” she called
Calamity turned on her heel, the emotions of the moment caught her, she had to do something, nobody else was bothering, but there wasn’t anything going to stop her finding out what really happened to her Lieutenant…, “to get Shane.”
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This is very interesting. I have to say I’ve never seen the movie. Hmmmm…may have to see if I can find it. Post again soon.
Well Hiya mate, Ya sure got somethin’ on ya hands here, dun ya? LMFAO! Its great mate ;) keep them coming :P
Fun story. Loved Calamity Jane too. Is the movie you watched the one with Doris Day as Calamity Jane?
BSring it on. “I can Do Anything You Can Do Better!” No music sucks; also one of my personal favorites
Excellent…real “Fun” story and you`ve done an excellent version of it…bet you were humming away writing it tho..lol..course you were!…looking forward to more soon!
LOL about lamentamini comment too funny!! the story by calamity his so funny… i feel like i’m watching this happen in saloon,,, ride’m cowboy, never saw the movie though,lol… :)PPS
Hey mate! Did ya finally get to bed the other night? LOL!!! This was BRILLIANT! I didn’t know we would see this one so soon, but what a hoot! Now I have a song or two in my head. LOL! Thanks so much for a refreshing fic.
Hey, Jo, this is hilarious! We want more of this story! You’re just on the right lane, mate! PPS – Lucero & Marsha (From Mexico City)
I can see Bette come strapping in with her whip and other cowboy stuff, and Tina dressed all in black. When do these two hook up? Soon I hope. That was a funny movie with Calamity Jane as the butt of somene’s joke but she sure showed ’em.
Not sure I like Tina having a variation of “cock” in her name. LOL! Gotta read now.
not familiar with the movie/ musical but my opinion has always been: is that any storyline is that much better for having B&T in it….so please do tease away….hmm, actually teasing is in keeping w/ the night i’ve had, just saw Cirque’s Zumanity – freaking amazing!!! Thx for helping to keep me entertained on my downtime in Sin City this weekend (i only gamble for fun w/ friends, i work too damn hard for my $!)
You practically had me on the floor, I was laughing so hard. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this movie. B&T in the lead roles just makes it all that more special. PPS!!
Hey Jo, Like Shaz, I adore the movie. Am singing “Whip crack-away, whip crack-away,. out loud now. Can’t wait to read more. Many thanks for this fun adventure. Your Loyal Fan.
I’ve never seen the real show nor do I know of it but your story is very interesting and I think I’m hooked. Please continue real soon. Thanks!
Like you loved this film, love too see where you take this story.
LOL on Lament’s comment..Anyways, this looks like a very promising fic. I’m in for the ride!
Hello Jobadge, this was really really neat… I love that you are taking that film and twisting it with our lovely ladies… the language is so much fun also… but you made it feel so very real and definitely kept the fun elements in there… I love the light hearted nature of this story… you are a brilliant writer and I think you can take this someplace special… so I say go for it… let’s see this one ride unto dawn and into the sun… Sincerely, JC
I must’ve wtached this film a hundred times when I was younger. I have a soft spot for it, thus why I was incredibly excited when I saw your post. Good beginning, keep it up. Thanks ADx
This is interesting!