Fan Fiction
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Calamity Bette
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Chapter 1
The stagecoach and the six sleek black horses galloped across the side of the mountain plains towards their destination of the town of Deadwood, hurrying across the dangerous land to avoid the almost inevitable arrows that would be coming in their direction at any moment.
Calamity Bette sat atop the stagecoach with Rattlesnake, the stage driver, as he snapped the reins to keep the horses in check. Calam’s rifle sat across her lap with her finger on the trigger in case one of those wild Indians happen to be a passing as they made their journey.
Calamity’s buckskin suit of close fitting britches and jacket fit to perfection as her red kerchief tied at her neck blew in the wind. Her old beaten cap kept the mass of curls under wraps as the stage flew towards the town.
She climbed atop the stage, standing on the precious cargo that was homeward bound, her gun and holster neatly hanging from her brown leather belt as she surveyed the horizon, eager to be getting home to her cabin and her town, preferably by the light of the silvery moon and no later.
The town was in site as the excited townsfolk and cowboys came to meet the stage on her final leg of the journey. The horses gathered around the stage as they passed the old beaten buildings of Deadwood. The streets became crowded as everyone milled around to meet the visitors and get a first look at the precious cargo that had come in from Illinois.
The first stop was outside of the Golden Garter Saloon run by none other than Kitty Miller. The cowboys drew their guns aloft, all shooting a welcome to the long awaited stagecoach.
“Well, ‘scuse my stammerin’, if it ain’t Calamity Bette!”
“Hiya Calam, what ya’ bring us today?”
Calamity Bette stands atop the stage, she shouts to the crowd as she reels off the cargo brought in for the townsfolk, “new rubber boots, ten-dollar suits, things to crochet, beads that sparkle like a prism, snake oil for your rheumatism, calico and gingham for the girls, gumdrops made up in Chicargy, gum drops just a trifle soggy…, And genuine string of artificial pearls. There’s a hat from Cincinnati, same as Adelina Patti,she wore in every famous concert hall, cast your eye on Dr Boer’s patent-pending hair-restorer…, guaranteed to grow hair on a billiard ball…”
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This is very interesting. I have to say I’ve never seen the movie. Hmmmm…may have to see if I can find it. Post again soon.
Well Hiya mate, Ya sure got somethin’ on ya hands here, dun ya? LMFAO! Its great mate ;) keep them coming :P
Fun story. Loved Calamity Jane too. Is the movie you watched the one with Doris Day as Calamity Jane?
BSring it on. “I can Do Anything You Can Do Better!” No music sucks; also one of my personal favorites
Excellent…real “Fun” story and you`ve done an excellent version of it…bet you were humming away writing it tho..lol..course you were!…looking forward to more soon!
LOL about lamentamini comment too funny!! the story by calamity his so funny… i feel like i’m watching this happen in saloon,,, ride’m cowboy, never saw the movie though,lol… :)PPS
Hey mate! Did ya finally get to bed the other night? LOL!!! This was BRILLIANT! I didn’t know we would see this one so soon, but what a hoot! Now I have a song or two in my head. LOL! Thanks so much for a refreshing fic.
Hey, Jo, this is hilarious! We want more of this story! You’re just on the right lane, mate! PPS – Lucero & Marsha (From Mexico City)
I can see Bette come strapping in with her whip and other cowboy stuff, and Tina dressed all in black. When do these two hook up? Soon I hope. That was a funny movie with Calamity Jane as the butt of somene’s joke but she sure showed ’em.
Not sure I like Tina having a variation of “cock” in her name. LOL! Gotta read now.
not familiar with the movie/ musical but my opinion has always been: is that any storyline is that much better for having B&T in it….so please do tease away….hmm, actually teasing is in keeping w/ the night i’ve had, just saw Cirque’s Zumanity – freaking amazing!!! Thx for helping to keep me entertained on my downtime in Sin City this weekend (i only gamble for fun w/ friends, i work too damn hard for my $!)
You practically had me on the floor, I was laughing so hard. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this movie. B&T in the lead roles just makes it all that more special. PPS!!
Hey Jo, Like Shaz, I adore the movie. Am singing “Whip crack-away, whip crack-away,. out loud now. Can’t wait to read more. Many thanks for this fun adventure. Your Loyal Fan.
I’ve never seen the real show nor do I know of it but your story is very interesting and I think I’m hooked. Please continue real soon. Thanks!
Like you loved this film, love too see where you take this story.
LOL on Lament’s comment..Anyways, this looks like a very promising fic. I’m in for the ride!
Hello Jobadge, this was really really neat… I love that you are taking that film and twisting it with our lovely ladies… the language is so much fun also… but you made it feel so very real and definitely kept the fun elements in there… I love the light hearted nature of this story… you are a brilliant writer and I think you can take this someplace special… so I say go for it… let’s see this one ride unto dawn and into the sun… Sincerely, JC
I must’ve wtached this film a hundred times when I was younger. I have a soft spot for it, thus why I was incredibly excited when I saw your post. Good beginning, keep it up. Thanks ADx
This is interesting!