“I truly hope you find her and you can go live with her, if you are more comfortable living with her than with Emily.”

“It’s not that I don’t feel good with Emily – it’s… well… I haven’t seen Kit in all those years but she has been travelling all around the country so that was hard anyway and she’s still a relative. It’s different.”

It pained Bette to say these things that were all true, but held one very important feeling from ms Kennard. She couldn’t voice this feeling, it would ruin everything. How could she tell her she was considering moving out of Emily’s place and with that ending their relationship? She didn’t feel comfortable at Emily’s because she knew that they both were living a lie, in a way. Both of them knew where Bette’s heart truly was, both of them knew who she dreamt of day and night. It didn’t feel fair anymore to be living in her girlfriend’s house, at her parent’s depenses, when her love was not even true. Or at least not as deep as it should be.

“Does Emily now that you are looking for another solution?”

“No. I’m still trying to figure out how to tell her without hurting her.”

“I really wish I could give you some helpful advice. I’ve never been in your situation, I haven’t got any idea what I would do.”

“It means a lot to me that you listen to me and are there for me. I can talk to Shane, but it’s… different. It really is. And I guess I’ve bothered Shane enough already.”

“I don’t think she’d agree with you on that, she’s a friend after all. But I get what you mean.”

There was a silence in which neither of both women really knew where to look or what to say. Tina made to go to the door, but Bette was hesitant. Somehow, she didn’t feel ready to return to Emily. She didn’t know if she could face her any longer. The first thing she wanted to do was find out where Kit lived and contact her. Her brain was working like crazy to try and find a solution as soon as possible. She’d need a computer, but all the laptops at school were locked away and she knew that in order to reach them, ms Kennard would have to go and get a key. She didn’t want to her to go through all that trouble.