She glanced sidewards. Ms Kennard was concentrated on the traffic and Bette almost exploded with need – the sight of ms Kennard driving a car was just too sexy for words. [i]Oh come on, Porter… You’re really acting silly now![/i] Bette berated herself.

About half an hour later, Tina stopped her car in front of a lively bar. Bette was beginning to worry already. As they walked inside, she noticed all the people dancing to the loud music. She didn’t want to dance and she couldn’t see how she would be able to calm down in this place. She decided to just trust ms Kennard.

Her heart jumped when she felt her favourite blonde taking her hand. It was a magical moment where there seemed to be only the two of them – only the two of them were real. The dancing people were shades, décor, moving on the beat forever. They were the only ones breathing and proceeding. It felt as if she was in a cocoon, the world outside didn’t seem to affect her at all. Even the sounds were different, hollow.

Ms Kennard had let her to a flight of stairs and let go of her hand. Bette sighed in regret and relief. The tension that had been building up during the drive had been about to consume her and she hadn’t known how much more of it she could have taken.

When they had reached the top of the stairs and had entered the room, the world downstairs seemed to have disappeared. Upstairs was a room scattered with regular tables and chairs, but also with cushions and lazy chairs. At the far end, there was a bar. Jazzy music was playing softly. It seemed to be a miracle you couldn’t hear any of the music downstairs.

“Where do you want to sit?” Ms Kennard asked.

“A table’s fine.” Bette wouldn’t feel comfortable lying on a cushion or sitting back in a comfy chair with ms Kennard, she was tense enough already.

“Does Emily expect you at home?” Ms Kennard asked after they had ordered their drinks.

“Well, I don’t really know… maybe I should give her a call.” Bette fished her phone out of her purse and, knowing Emily, decided to call her. If she sent a text, Emily wouldn’t notice and panick before having the sense to look at her phone.

“Baby?” Bette could hear the smile in Emily’s voice.

“Hey,” the brunette avoided any term of endearment. “Listen, I don’t when I’ll get home. I’m… euhm…” Why hadn’t she thought of something to say [i]before[/i] she called? “having a drink with an old friend of mine I haven’t seen in a while.”

“Oh… okay. You couldn’t let me know earlier?”

“I totally forget, I’m really sorry. I met her at a camp years ago and we never exchanged any contact information so this was really a chance to catch up.”

“It’s alright, Bette. I’ll tell Mom to keep a plate for you.”

“Yeah, thanks. Bye.”

“Bye, love you!”

Bette couldn’t say ‘I love you’ back, it was too awkward with ms Kennard around. She knew that it didn’t make any difference whether ms Kennard heard those words or not, she’d never want her. And she knew Bette had a girlfriend anyway. It still seemed to make a difference, though.

“Why didn’t you tell her you were with me? She knows about the entire situation, right?”

“Yeah, well, I can’t really explain. It’s just… better.”

Ms Kennard smiled. “I’ll believe you, then.”

They had a long chat and when both realised that it was really time to go home, Bette knew it. She was totally in love with ms Kennard, deeper than ever. Her feelings just went through the roof and it took all of her strength not to hug her again and kiss her. It was what she was desperate for and sadly realised she would never get.