How to stop it?

No idea.

Then she decided there was a choice to make. It didn’t take her lang to decide whether she would tell ms Peabody or mr Haspel, the only teachers she really trusted. Where the trust she had in mr Haspel came from, she didn’t know. Maybe the fact he was so supportive of her during the basketball trainings. Because of the extensive training during the holidays she finally had a spot in the team. The fact that Randy Williams, one year her senior, had left school had a lot to do with that.

Anyway, mr Haspel wouldn’t be the one to tell. After all, they weren’t that close and he was a man. He wouldn’t understand in a million years. Ms Peabody had read her papers that sometimes revealed so much about her personality and graded them, ms Peabody was close to ms Kennard, but most importantly; ms Peabody was a lesbian.

It was on a Tuesday that she had asked her British teacher after class if she could speak to her. It had been no problem. Bette had talked around the subject for a long time, suddenly scared of telling her. Ms Peabody had been very patient and in the end, Bette couldn’t even say the words, but ms Peabody knew what she meant.

“Will you please not tell her?” Bette asked, slightly shaking of the nerves and the emotional stress. She barely managed to keep back her tears.

“Of course not, Bette,” ms Peabody smiled. “You probably know what I’m going to say.”

“That I should get over her, that we’re leading a different life, that I’m going off to college where I’ll meet lots of new people and I’ll meet other girls who will make me all forget about ms Kennard, that I’ll be happy with one of them. That one year from now, I’ll be laughing this away as a silly teenage crush.”

“Exactly, so I’m not going to give you that. I can see that you really understand that this can’t lead to anything at all. Ms Kennard is very happy with her boyfriend.”

“I know.” The words still stung.

Helena hadn’t seen that one coming. That Tina had a crush on Bette, well, she had passed it on as just a silly crush. The fact that Bette was feeling the same did make things more complicated. Both women – she considered Bette to be a woman, wise as she was – were trapped in the roles they played in this society. If they would know that their feelings were reciprocated, it still wouldn’t lead them anywhere. They still wouldn’t be able to be together.

And even if they were, how long would it last? They didn’t really know each other now, just had an idea of the other. Mostly, they had their dreams about the other. 

Besides, with Tina being pregnant, there was no way it would ever happen. Helena did think it was a bit sad; they would make such an awesome couple.

“So, Bette, what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. Not tell her. Not look at me like I’m some kind of freak – not that you do now, just… you know. Pretend we never had this conversation.”

“That’s a deal. What happened to your girlfriend, by the way? Emily?”

Bette looked up in surprise. “Who told you about her?”

“Oh – ms Kennard did.”

Strange, Bette thought. They talked about me. She didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Anyway,” Bette said. “We’ve broken up a few months ago. She knew about my feelings from the beginning and in the end, we decided to just stay friends because it wasn’t getting anywhere. There were no hard feelings.”

“What happened to the friends thing?” ms Peabody asked knowingly.

Bette smiled lightly. “Haven’t seen much of her ever since.”

“I know that. You always say you’re gonna be in touch and you end up being strangers. It’s like graduation; everyone promises to keep mailing each other or calling and they’re gonna do this and that, but the first time they meet again is twenty years later because they happen to be on the same bus or something.”

“Yeah, you probably even lose your best friends out of sight if you don’t go to the same university.”

“You do,” Helena answered sadly, thinking about Dylan. She quickly changed the subject to books.