Arriving at the apartment building, she suddenly wondered what to do if Jesse had come back in the mean time. Would he be mad at her for spending all day with his girlfriend who had had a miscarriage and not even bothering to even try and contact him? Would he be mad at her because Tina had told her first? Would he want her to leave.

A few minutes later, she was back already. She made a few cups of coffee and hurried back to the living room. Tina was still lying there, peacefully as before. She was glad she hadn’t had to wake her up, but had noticed the key on the kitchen table.

A while later, she went back to the kitchen to check on the coffee and noticed it was ready. She went in search of two cups, the sugar and opened the frigde to get the milk. It took her some time to find a tray to place it all on, but she found one eventually.

Bette went back to the living room and slightly shook Tina’s shoulder to wake her up. The blonde stirred and opened her eyes. She looked confused for a few seconds, but then realisation seemed to hit her. The sadness was back almost instantly, as were the tears. 

The brunette quickly placed the tray on the small table and took Tina in her arms again. She waited until the sobbing subsided, without saying anything.

“I know it’s dinner time, but I went out earlier to get an éclair. I also made some coffee and put it in the thermos. Interested?”

Tina smiled a small smile and Bette knew it was all she could manage. 

“I’m cold,” the blonde said, taking a first sip of her coffee. “There are some blankets in the closet behind us, but I feel too weak to get one.”

Bette got up in a heartbeat and saw the closet was stuffed with blankets – large ones, small ones, colourful ones, stylish ones, all kinds of blankets. She just picked the one on the top of the pile. She covered Tina in it.

She noticed the blonde’s hands were shaking and quickly took her cup, preventing her to spill. She brough the cup to Tina’s lips, letting her drink slowly. She then took the éclair and fed it to. Bette ate her own afterwards and brought everything to the kitchen, then quickly got back.

When she sat down, Tina grabbed her hand. They were sitting there, Bette holding Tina’s hand between her own. After a while, Tina started to speak. Her voice was hoarse, her hair dishevelled, her eyes red and puffy. She still looked beautiful to Bette.

“I was just getting used to it. I was looking forward to it. In the beginning, I really cursed myself and wish I could go back in time and change things. I was so angry at myself for letting this happening. But then you are pregnant and there’s nothing you can do about that – well, you could, but it’s never been an option for me. I really started to love it – I probably loved it from the beginning, but now I was fully realizing just how much. I was thinking about names and the room and I was daydreaming an entire future, an entire life for my child.”

“I really don’t know what to say. I’m glad you can talk about it.”

“I’ve been thinking and I just can’t come up with anything I may have done wrong. I ate healthy, didn’t do any intensive efforts, I did everything as I should have.”

“It’s not your fault. It just… it happens, you know. You’ll probably need to see a therapist.”

Tina smiled that small smile again. “Yeah. Both of us going, then.”

“Yep.” 

Silence.

“Okay, I hate to say this,” the brunette began. “But have you told Jesse? Because I haven’t seen him around all day.”

Tina’s eyes grew big.

“Oh shit, Jesse!”

“Yeah, him.”

“Shit, he’s in New York promoting his new book… he’ll be so devastated.”

Bette chastised herself for feeling jealous and angry at herself for even bringing him up. She wasn’t allowed to feel like this if something so terrible had just happened, right? She shouldn’t be so selfish.