The blonde didn’t recognise the guy she had been with for so long. He seemed to be a completely different person who had invaded Jesse Portland’s body. She couldn’t believe everyone at the company had to work this hard and David, a colleague of his who had once come to dinner, had slipped that Jesse asked his co-workers to do some of their work so they could go home earlier, to their wives and kids and occasionally, to their boyfriends.

Tina had been really upset about that. He didn’t make any time to be with her, they barely talked anymore. She felt like he blamed her for losing the baby, for him losing his view on the future. As if she had personally killed the undoubtedly beautiful creature that had been growing inside of her.

The apartment didn’t feel like home anymore. The pictures of the two of them in happier times stung so much that she was taking them away gradually. The otherwise so neatly arranged DVD’s and CD’s were now a messy pile, as both of them just threw it back when they were finished listening.

Jesse had taken his books to his own room, which made their shared book shelf look empty. It almost felt like they were a divorced couple living together.

They had been so happy together, they had been the perfect match. The Jesse she used to know would have comforted her after the miscarriage, would have his problems dealing with it, but he would want to get through it together. 

Sometimes he looked at her with such disappointment and pain and Tina figured he probably even didn’t realise that. 

Tina didn’t think Jesse was trying to purposely hurt her, he was just drowning himself in work to try to forget about it. After all, it was what she did. With that difference that she did try to talk to him. 

This was suffocating her, to be in such a loveless relationship. The fear of what would happen if she was alone was what kept her with him, but sometimes she did wonder if there would be that much of a difference.

She still did her job, even more fanatically. Every lesson, she brought too much material. She knew on beforehand she wouldn’t be able to show everything, but she couldn’t help it. Her enthusiasm of teaching itself seemed to slowly disappear, though.