She didn’t make the jokes, she didn’t have the smile. She didn’t make any effort to bring history to life, the thing she had always wanted to do in front of a classroom. The students must have noticed something was wrong because she seemed so empty, so resigned, so stoic.

Tina only enjoyed one thing any more: the time she spent with Bette. They would sit together at Tina’s place and talking about nothing, or they wouldn’t talk at all. Bette’s dreams and hopes and passion for history and art and languages were the only things that still interested Tina, that kept her going, that kept her alive.

They would also just watch movies and have popcorn, or go to The Planet. They rarely talked about the miscarriage, but sometimes they did and it was the only time Tina ever did say anything about it. It was one of these times were Bette was at Tina’s place when she said it again.

“Ms Kennard, I really think you should see a therapist. You’re not happy, a blind dog can see that.”

“I know I should, but I don’t know who. I don’t feel like telling my entire life story again.”

“Maybe you can ask Steve’s dad. He knows a lot about you.”

“Guy is retired, Bette. I don’t want to bother him.”

“If he knew the state you were in, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind making an exception for you. Even if it was only as a favour to his son.”

“I don’t know, Bette.”

Bette knew the time had come to let the subject rest, but she did have a plan in her head. She decided to start about something else.

“So, graduation in a few months. Will you be attending?”

“I don’t know. I actually haven’t been to any graduation since my own. Okay, I tried once. It was my first one as a teacher, but everything just reminded me so much, I didn’t even make it to the end. It’s too hard, there are too many memories.”

“Oh.”

Tina couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in Bette’s voice. The brunette would probably be first of class and be mighty proud about that.

“Maybe I’ll make an exception this year. It’s time to get over my demons, isn’t it? Therapy did work, but I always just kind of thought that there was no need to visit places you knew would bring aweful thing back if you might as well stay away from them.”

“True.”

They talked more, well into the night.

###########################

“Guy Herkin? Hello, this is Bette Porter. I called to ask you if you remember a certain patient of yours, Tina Kennard?”

“Tina? Of course I do. Lovely girl. What about her? Is she alright?”

“Well… not exactly. She really needs some help, but she doesn’t feel like telling her entire life story and open up old wounds to a stranger. I know you are retired, sir, but she really needs it. The thing is… she had a miscarriage some weeks ago and the father isn’t there for her at all. It shows in her teaching, she’s so sad, everyone feels sorry for her and if she knew it, she’d find it aweful… can you please, please help her?”

She heard a deep sigh. “I can’t exactly say no to helping Tina. She was a wonderful girl.”

“Who has grown into a wonderful woman.”

“Look, I’ll contact her, but I won’t push her if she doesn’t want to.”

“Okay, thanks a lot! And please don’t tell her it’s my doing.”

“I won’t. Thank you for helping out Tina.”

“I would do anything for her.”

*Small Blue Thing by Suzanne Vega