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    Chapter 11

    Bette twisted the ring that she hadn’t removed from her left ring finger since the day Tina put it there. She recalled their commitment ceremony witnessed by all of their dear friends and family.

    “To Be One With Each Other” by George Eliot
    What greater thing is there for two human souls
    than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
    each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,
    to share with each other in all gladness,
    to be one with each other in the
    silent unspoken memories?

    After James finished reading the poem that he’d dedicated to Bette and Tina they stood facing each other and held hands as they said their vows.

    “Christina Kennard you are my life partner and one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. Tina, I give you my hand, my heart, and my love. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life. I promise to love and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you.”

    “Elizabeth Porter you are my life partner and one true love. I have fallen in love a little more every day that we’ve been together. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us. Bette, today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to love you, to be your true and loyal friend, to respect and support you, to be patient with you. I will always be honest with you, kind and forgiving. I look forward to sharing my life with you. I promise to care for and protect your heart. I will stay with you, for all eternity. I love you.”

    Bette and Tina chose to wear rings to symbolize the sacredness of the promises they made to one another. The rings were inscribed with “Eternal Love” on the inside of the band. Bette placed the ring on Tina’s finger, and Tina repeats the same words and puts the ring on Bette’s finger.

    “Just as this ring I give you today is a circle without end, my love for you is eternal. Please wear it as a sign of my unfailing commitment. I’m eternally yours.”

    The day Bette met Tina at her condo to talk she’d noticed that Tina wasn’t wearing her ring. It was a sign that the ‘circle without end’ had finally broken and their eternal love was no more. Bette hadn’t said anything about Tina not wearing her ring, and though Tina noticed Bette wearing hers, she hadn’t said anything either.

    After Tina left their meeting at the CAC Bette removed her ring and later that day placed it in her safety deposit box along with all the other official documents that signified the broken vows and dissolution of their seven-year union.

    Comments

    1. Hi Bat, so sad. And Tina still doesn’t have her answers, but Bette, started realizing it was also her mistake, she shouldn’t push her partner out. When I read how Tina was afraid of Bette reactions, for not coming home, and many others things, I realized, that Tina felt and indeed she was belittle in their relationship, she made Bette the center of her life, and she was submissive probably without wanting it (which is understandable). As Bette recalled, Tina is different now, “like the Tina that Bette had fallen in love with so many years ago”; that implies a lot, their relationship, at least during the last months, wasn’t healthy. Let’s see if Tina finds her answers and decide what to do; and let’s hope that Bette changes her dictatorial alpha attitude, no to bring Tina back, but to not make the same mistake again. I want to know what will happen; I know you won’t post for some days; I’ll wait anxiously for your next update. Thanks for this chapter

    2. Just can not believe that this is the end for them. I realize that no situation is infallible nor any two people but really not even trying to work out any differences of opinion and try to rekindle their love, I just can’t believe this has happened. Sure hope you can turn this thing around, BAT. I believe Tina should at least give some thought to a life with Bette and having the child they wanted but, even as I write this, I know having and bringing a child into a rocky marriage is not an answer, in fact, that would only serve to make a break even worse. Don’t know what the answer should be but dang, please make them consider alternatives since Tina really is not sure. Henry, yuck. Bette also needs to consider how her aloofness didn’t serve the marriage well at all and thinking selfishly that her opinion was the only one that mattered. If her head hsd been screwed on right she would not have lived her life in that manner. Thanks for posting. Hope you have a good week.

    3. TINA may have been a little harsh but to have BETTE tell her to explore her feelings was harsher.BETTE being the only woman to be intimate with TINA imo threw her to the wolves.TINA needed someone to help her get back on track and if HENRY has given her confidence,,security,a shoulder to cry on ,and most importantly a feeling of self-worth that she surely felt lacking from BETTE then let the marriage end but a lesson was learned i hope by both of them,don’t presume to know what,how or why your partner feels the way they do just listen closely to what is NOT being said.BETTE realizes now but a little to late.Shame is as powerful as love and like the song”LOVE SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU HOME” ,SHAME does the opposite,it keeps you away.THANKS ps.

    4. Bette and Tina’s relationship had been rocky for quiet some time in this story. Tina and Bette agree that they will start to arrange their lives so they can have a baby. By agreement Tina quits her job and starts to prepare her body for the pregnancy. Bette assuming the financial burden increases her workload. Tina feels ignored but does nothing to bring Bette’s attention back to the relationship. In fact she spurns Bette’s attempts to make personal time to be with Tina. She insist on keeping her workout schedule when Bette surprises her with an early day home. She makes no attempt to get Bette to dedicate a specific amount of time each week to just them with no interruptions or friends or cell phone calls. She stops calling Bette at while she as at work just to keep the lines of communication open. She complains silently that the only time they have sex is for insemination purposes. Then she’s angry when the donor’s sperm in non-viable. And when Bette comes up with a donor, she rejects him and really cannot explain why. She says she non qualified to raise a bi-racial child. Considering her spouse is a bi-racial woman, that seems a bit flimsy to me. Anyway, it really seems to me that Tina is deep down not wanting a child or at least not wanting a child with Bette. At no point in this story do I see Tina as being ready to do what it takes to have a successful relationship. As she and Bette drift apart, she sees the signs but is not willing to put any effort into reversing course. Bette makes several attempts and is rebuffed each time by Tina – too tired, we don’t have time, lets talk later, I’m not ready to talk yet. Never once does she look at the situation from Bette’s point of view until they get to the settlement table. Bette is a very head strong person. But if Tina asked for some time and some effort to communicate, I believe she would have put forth the effort.

      It appears to me that Tina’s tears are caused by her embarrassment that she only considered herself and not the relationship in the end. But if you look back on this story, everything she did never considered the relationship. She allowed Bette to fill her time with work. She avoided all opportunities to communicate and reconnect. And whether consciously or not, she looked for the path that would break them apart: a sexual relationship with a man. But even this, I think Bette would have taken her back if she expressed a sincere desire to give their relationship a chance. I have read this chapter twice. Not one statement does Tina indicate that there will ever be an “us” for Tina and Bette. Perhaps Tina does feel their relationship was not on equal footing. But with just a bit of assertiveness and communication, Bette would bend to her needs and wishes. Tina cannot get what she does not ask for. Tina simply never ask and therefore breaks the relationship without ever trying to get the changes she needs or wants. She turns to Henry instead.

      Bette give Tina an opportunity to flush out what she wants with a caveat that sex with Josh would break the marriage. So if Tina was determined to have sex with a man, she knew the possibility was strong that it would break the marriage. Obviously having sex with a man (almost any man), was more important than her marriage. Bette wasn’t even out of town when she began her pursuit. Tina held all the cards and did not have the wherewithal to communicate this to Bette until Bette forced her into a conversation. If Bette had never seen that laptop, would this breakup have ever occurred? I think the answer is yes. Relationships do not work on automatic. It takes time, effort, communication, being connected, understanding, sacrifice and holding each other accountable for their crap. Bette fell short on her end too. But at least Bette made some effort to give the relationship a chance. Bette was put into a position of ending it officially when Tina showed no interest in the relationship at all. This is just heart breaking.

      Thank you for this wonderful story…..I know its not the typical TiBette drama. But it is so well written and so emotional, I give it a five star rating.

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