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    Chapter 4: Tina’s Turmoil

    Chapter 4: Tina’s Turmoil  

    Bette was driving Angie to the airport and her daughter was not in a good mood. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Bette had struggled to get her out of bed. Into the shower. “Double check your luggage. Eat that English Muffin please. All of it. Drink some juice. Make sure you have your passport. Brush your teeth.” Teeth, yes, it had been like pulling teeth. Very sad, very angry, very obstinate teeth.

    Shane sat back eating her Captain Crunch cereal and watched while Bette quietly listened to the endless list of reasons why life was so unfair to her daughter. But embedded in her teenage tirade were some very serious and heartbreaking statements. “Why can’t Mama Tee just come here? I don’t want to be away from you. It’s not fair!” Angie then began a full-blown blitz.

    “I don’t like Carrie, mom. I don’t. I’m sorry. I know I’m not supposed to say that. But you have no idea. She’s just too gruff, too abrasive. And yes, mom, I looked it up. It’s totally the right word. Can’t you just put a stop to it! Why can’t you fix it? Just go get Mama Tee and make her come back to us! And oh my God, mom, I really have to go back there for Thanksgiving? I want to be home with you and Uncle Shane and Maya. I’m going to miss Jordi. What if you fall in love while I’m gone? I really like Maya, mom. A lot. And I’ll miss Buddy.”

    Angie was getting more and more upset. Go get Tina cave man style then – wait – no – be with Maya. “It totally sucks! I mean sucks!!!!!” Angie got on her knees and began to stroke and hug Buddy. Bette looked at her daughter, took a very deep breath and whispered: “Angelica Porter Kennard. Love of my life. Language. Please.” “Good luck,” Shane mouthed at Bette. “Bye Ang, have fun. Tell your mom hi from me, okay?” Angie sadly nodded. She was losing this battle. “Taking Buddy for a walk.” Shane kissed Angie on the top of the head. “Love you. You be cool.”

    Mother and disgruntled daughter finally made it into the car. Bette looked over at a seriously pouting and sullen Angie. “Maybe you should have done the boxing that your Uncle Shane recommended. Gotten some of your frustration out.” Angie instantly perked up. “I agree. I should. I can do that today and fly out tomorrow or the next day.”

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    Comments

    1. What a chapter!! Tina loses her friend and mother figure in Marilyn and then starts to pursue a job which causes her to be away from Bette and Angie. And everything snowballs from there. I can see Tina being caught up in the moment with the challenge and excitement of her new position and simply getting immersed in it. And I can see that the excitement and the new responsibilities taking her away from her life as mother and wife. After all Bette is an excellent mother and will take care of Angie no matter what. And as the authors, Tina simply never thinks about the overall ramifications of her actions and the results of being away from her child as this job requires.

      Then Carrie comes along and Tina recalls the discussion as to whether kissing is cheating and finally that thinking about another is cheating. That idea that thinking is cheating is such an immature and such an unrealistic concept, yet there are those who have conservative upbringings which have latched on that very concept. So Tina decides to take herself out to the realm of cheating by going for a divorce as quickly as she can. All without thinking of the ramifications of what she is doing to Bette or to Angie. And once it’s done, it’s done.

      Carrie as presented is truly the Rosie O’Donnell which we see presented in public. Carrie is similar to the character she played in League of Our Own… a New Jersey or New York girl with all the regional slang and the latest new vocabulary used by young people which seems almost foreign to those of us who are of a lot more mature age. Gen Q announced that Rosie would play the role of Carrie in December, 2020 and this author present Carrie as many of us imagine her to be….. loud, brash, and crude in some respects. Her language reflects who she is. Yet, she is kind, caring and worships Tina. But it is obvious that this relationship will is not a long-term relationship. The fact that they are not living together really and they have scheduled their wedding date should be a clue that things are not anywhere near the relationship for engaged couples.

      Tina is at a crossroads in her life….. she is beginning to feel the results of her choices and her actions. She is not happy by almost any standard except for her professional life. Her relationship with Angie is frayed. Her relationship with Carrie is not exactly of that of a couple in love. Her relationship with Bette is almost non-existent and yet she still very much in love with Bette.

      When Tina has been in an emotional crisis, she believes that instead of seeking the support and love of Bette, she runs and seeks the comfort of strangers and go it alone. Yet, she needs people to support her, such she seeks out someone convenient such as Helena was, as Henry was and now as Carrie is. And each time she does this, there seems to be a similarity of results – a relationship of convenience and not based on real love and commitment. She then just goes with the flow and not what her heart is telling her she needs and wants. This is a mess and it appears to be of Tina’s own making. Hopefully Tina will pay attention to her heart and begin to make decisions and take actions which will lead her to a life of true happiness.

      This had to be a difficult chapter to write….. it is very emotional – the grief of loss of Marilyn and Kit. The divorce and its surrounding side effects…and the realization that what was truly going on with Tina has been hidden from everyone she deems to be important in her life. The fact that these questions and emotions are beginning to rise and come out in her thinking, gives me hope that Tina can make a turnabout in her life and possibly correct some of these missteps. Yet she still is hanging on to the idea that she cannot appear to have made a mistake that worries me even deep in her soul, she knows she has.

      Thank you for this chapter…. for me, it seems to bring a some light to who Tina is. Let’s see if she can get into smoother waters and get this raft to shore and make her way back to Bette and Angie.

      Look forward to the next chapter….

      • Martha,

        Thank you sooooo much. As I said this is the sink or swim chapter. And it was indeed very difficult to write. Took a long time to sort it all out. And it also took a toll. This is the chapter that made me wonder if I could even continue with the story. I love this couple and have zero understanding of why Marja did this to them. Soooo I plodded on.

        You have a very clear understanding of my thinking. Tina is majorly adrift. She has so much love for Bette but she also made the decision to change jobs and work out of Toronto on her own. This is not the first time Tina has decided to become so insular and act alone. Why? Well we don’t really know do we? But I guess we need to help Tina figure it out. And Bette is moving on and making plans. Right now they are separated in so many ways. Tins is even in a different country. But their hearts? Oh yes, their hearts.

        It was never my intent to post five chapters before the series aired. But once I saw the images of Tina and Carrie I knew I had to share my version of Carrie. I simply cannot imagine them as a couple let alone getting married. I really was true to Rosie. Frankly I’m sick to death of listening to her Tik Tok. But it has provided inspiration. You absolutely nailed it. Carrie convenient!!! Tina has to realize it and make the break. But Tina is determined and prideful. How long will she allow this to continue?

        There are so many questions. Marilyn most definitely weighs heavily in Tina’s heart. And Tina needs to preserve her relationship with Angie. There is no doubt Angie loves her mother. But Angie can see that Carrie is not a match for her mother. Tina will get there. Eventually. And then what? That is the question isn’t it?

        Thanks again for reading and commenting my friend. Billy

    2. So. A lot to unpack here. Couple things came to mind when I was reading that excellent description of Bette’s morning with Angie preparing to leave for the airport. You write teenage Angie really well. The angst, the jumping from one topic to another, the moaning about being unfair, the impact on her life. All so well and true to life with a teenager. And my heart broke a little for Tina, because this is her daughter, kicking and screaming on the way to seeing her, wanting to be told she didn’t have to go. We all know Tina loves Angie. But we also know Angie is spot on in this case. Out of the mouth of babes and all that. Angie speaks truth. Yet Angie has another parent, another parent who balances this out with a will that is iron. You will go. You will be respectful. You will give this time to Tina. WOW.
      And… Angie is all of us to be honest. All of us as fans of Tibette. Kicking and screaming to the final stretch before S2 airs. Do we have to? But why? I don’t understand, explain… help me understand… this is us. This is Angie. Most of all… we want Bette to just go and get Tina, to carry her over her shoulder like the proverbial caveman and make her see reason. Please don’t make us watch this season if it means Tina is gone. Please don’t make us go there. Angie is US. All of us.

      And so my heart also broke for Bette. The parent left behind. To pick up the pieces and put on a brave face and positive spin, to comfort, to explain, to absorb the pain. I am that parent. To know that love is there, that Tina loves Angie beyond words and yet still did this thing, this awful thing. And Bette handles it so beautifully. Not one bad word about Tina, making every attempt to try and mend fences. Talk to your mother, Angie. Talk to your daughter, Tina. And there Bette is in the middle, the bridge to a past and future she neither wanted nor understands.

      And in the middle of it all, happily planning a wedding to the catch of her dreams is Carrie. Larger than life, over the top, the anti Bette. She makes me laugh, I will give her that. But what a terrible match. You write her so well I can hear ROD’s voice in my head when I read this chapter. And it makes sense, it is all starting to make sense…
      the impulsivity of Tina, the need for someone to put her on a pedestal – like Henry, like Helena to a degree, like Brenda. But when her barriers are down, when she is at her most vulnerable – in the shower thinking about Bette, for example – she can’t hide from the truth. She loves Bette and that is the crux of the problem.

      This is a chapter that will sit with me today as I go about my business, a chapter that has layers and layers and complexities. There is no wasted scene, no fluff. Every part of this chapter continues to add to the bigger picture of the question we are all asking – WHY.

      Well done, Billy. Keep writing. Tik Tok don’t YOU stop.
      BK

      • BK,

        I do not have the words to reply to your comment. Merely thanking you seems so inadequate. I am so proud that you understand what I am trying to write. Trying to convey. I love Tina and having to put her through the paces has not been easy. But the goal is first, last, forever, once and for all. Despite the lunacy of Gen Q.

        Frankly, I was not ready to begin regular posting but the moment I saw our Tina with Carrie and we read that Bette would find new love I knew. I knew I had to get some of this out there before the dastardly season two began. I have listened to so many Rosie Tik Toks I hear her voice in my sleep….well more like my nightmares. I have no idea how she will be portrayed but it does not matter. Tina marrying anyone other than Bette is The Twilight Zone and must not happen. Cannot happen. In fan fiction will not happen.

        Yes, Carrie adores Tina and feeds her ego and has her on one mighty big pedestal. But that’s not love. And Carrie is not Bette. So. So we must fix Tina. That is the task. I have always thought Tina became impulsive when she was somewhat lost and adrift. After the miscarriage she self inseminated claiming she was protecting Bette. I wonder. Let’s find out more about Tina, shall we? As for Bette? She still loves Tina with all her heart and soul. But she will need time to trust her again. And Tina will need to earn that trust. It’s a process that will take time. But there is indeed love and respect, always. I make no attempt to hide my endgame.

        I am so very thrilled with your comments about Angie. Of course she loves Tina. Of course she does. But she sees the Carrie mismatch. And she will soon see just how unhappy her mother is. Bette does a very good job navigating between the two ladies in her life. Bette will always have Tina’s back. Angie is most definitely growing up but aren’t we always children when with our parents? Angie is miserable. In many ways a typical teenager. Junior year in a few weeks. She just wants to hang at home.

        It will take some time to learn Tina’s whys. Tina is still in the stubborn pride stage. But the walls she has built are beginning to crumble. What will Bette do? How will Bette react? Bette is moving in another direction. What will it take for their paths to align again?

        Thank you BK. I am floored. Now, where is RWYA? A lot of people are waiting. Your stories are the best tonic for the heartache that is Gen Q.

        • RWYA is being edited and rewritten for the final as we speak. I hope to have it posted by the end of the week. A new baby, no sleep, a sick toddler…. what could go wrong? Thank you for asking.
          I too love Tina. But she is so flawed, fragile almost. So quick to run – she takes the flight out fight or flight. She runs, she hides, she buries her head in the sand. Looking forward to your next chapter…

          • Yes to all. Tina is very fragile. I’m not quite sure Bette sees that. Hmmmmmm. Good for thought. Bette will do her best to never let her run again. I am so psyched about RWYA. The scenario sounds heavenly. What COULD go wrong? I’ve cleared my calendar.

            • I don’t think Bette sees the fragility at all. It’s hard to when the impulsive decision making causes such an upheaval in their lives. Easier and more obvious to focus on that!

    3. What a Chapter!

      So much to take in and consider.

      Thank you for the post and this story. I look forward to your take on the Angie/Tina talk.

      Rosie is not known in the UK, well not in my neck of the woods, I’m pleased to say.
      I didn’t like Carrie before reading this and completely dislike her now.

      I still love Tina but want to shake her!

      Thanks Billy
      SG

    4. Hi Billy,

      My goodness, what a brilliant insight into Tina’s mind!!! So well written, my compliments!

      I have to say that I just think Tina is selfish and blamed others especially Bette for everything and now admit that it wasn’t. Marilyn’s death will undoubtedly have had a big impact on her, but Tina already seems to have problems or feelings before then and admits that she completely left Bette out. She has knowingly chosen not to say anything and go her own way. Decided to abandon Bette and Angie for her own gain. She thought of a possible new relationship or another woman and hastily decides that this is cheating. Seriously, I really don’t get her and honestly I’m not a fan of this Tina. She urgently needs help before it is too late.

      The beginning with Bette and Angie, so well written! How Bette interacts and addresses Angie, encourages and tries to motivate her to talk to Tina, give her and Carrie a chance. So beautifully done!

      And gosh, I don’t know ROD well apart from the things I’ve heard and read but what a horrible woman. You’ve studied her endlessly and I see her exactly as Carrie. I have not seen a greater mismatch. Tina is not in love with her but claims to love her, but meanwhile she thinks of Bette to get her sexual relief. Her ego is stroked by the open admiration for her by Carrie, who has her on a pedestal and is with Tina herself because she is so beautiful and she can make her shine. Uugh, and Tina doesn’t want to fail again and avoid being shallow because Carrie isn’t as gorgeous in looks as Bette and Helena. Good reason to continue with this whole circus Tina!

      Billy, I really love how you wrote this! A big round of applause for you and my deep admiration!

      • Bibi,

        As always thank you for the comment and support. The hard part of writing this story really has been incorporating the character details attributed to Tina season one. I love Tina but as BK says she is fragile. She is so messed up. And we are just learning the backstory. But she is so in love with Bette. So why is she doing this? Oh, Tina. Time will tell. I hope by the end you are posting a comment that reads that you love this Tina. We shall see, right?

        I posted these early chapters because I wanted my version of Carrie out there before the series. I have been sitting on this for so long. To say that Tina and Carrie are a mismatch is a complete understatement. Beyond comprehension. There has been some controversy over casting Rosie as Carrie. It is written that she will feel intimidated by Bette. I took that information and did a lot of digging and this is my version of Carrie. There is simply no chemistry. Tina needs to come to terms with this fact. Hopefully in Gen Q as well. And Tibette deserve a happy ending. A circus is such an appropriate description and very definitely applies to Angie’s encounter with Carrie in the next chapter.

        I love Bette with Angie. This is an older more mature Bette. She lives for her almost grown baby girl. If I get nothing else right I hope I can show that. There are many more Bette and Angie scenes to come. Angie is integral to the story. I really appreciate your comment. I’m sorry to have to depict Tina this way. Unfortunately there is more to come. It will get better. It really will. Billy

        • I love the scènes between Bette and Angie! And i am sure i will comment later that i love Tina too but for now i would be lying if i said it. Tina is a mess and needs to go figure out what she really wants and go back to therapy. I kinda feel sorry for her. I have absolute trust in you to bring back the Tina i love!

          • That’s a huge pile of trust. I saw the picture of the season two billboard. If you haven’t seen it yet please find it. And I was staring at Jennifer and Kate and Leisha with the new cast and seeing Jordan on there added as a regular. I got so sad. I know Laurel is not a regular. I know she is a guest star. But her absence is visceral. It’s wrong that Tina is now such a minor character. And Times Square and Sunset Strip billboards just hit that home. Have to take care of Tina. And honor Laurel.

    5. I saw it and i feel said too, it’s like they disrespect Laurel, she is so important and it doesn’t matter she is just a guest star. Take care of our Tina and honor Laurel! She deserves that!

    6. First of all, I wanted to congratulate you on your writing, your style is very pleasant to read. You hesitated to get started and yet you have nothing to envy of anyone !

      WHAT IS TINA DOING ?

      Tina had a good life, in Bette she had a charming, stunning, charismatic and classy woman and she chose a woman more masculine than a battalion of soldiers (no offense to the actress).
      Bette is everything Carrie is not and vice versa.

      I can’t wait to see how Tina will get out of this situation, she will have to not only re-conquer Bette for the second time but also all her family because apart from Peggy who still believes in her ?

      • Hey Izzy,

        I just thank God that my Carrie chapters have been written so I no longer feel the need to listen to those annoying Tik Toks. To say that I am at a loss is such an understatement. Why oh why. Laurel deserves better and Tina as well. But Tina chose Carrie. And now she has to un choose Carrie. Believe it or not, Bette is there for Tina. Maybe not in the way Tina wants. Not for quite a while. But you are right, this is a tough one. Can’t un ring the bell. And Tina knows it. It’s a very tricky puzzle to solve. Especially as Bette is aging like a very fine wine.

        Thank you Izzy for reading my story. Thank you for your support. I’m glad you feel I have a pleasant style. I did not know I had any style. Lol. I appreciate your kindness. Billy

    7. Run away from Carrie as fast as you can Tina – preferably back to Bette and Angie.
      Teeney Weeny, what? Is she five.? Rosie O’Donnell not particularly known in the UK – is she the broad who had verbal fisticuffs with Trump? I guess she gains some kudos for that. Usually I get frustrated with having to wait for the series to be shown in the UK, but I’m happy to wait for you guys to comment. I never got the relationships in the first series – there seemed no heart to any of them. The only exceptions were between any combinations of Shane, Angie, Bette and, of course, Tina. I’m hanging on by a thread for Bette and Tina to reconcile. I’m very surprised that JB has been involved in a production role, it does rather affect her credibility because there is some seriously bad acting going on. And once again Laurel gets the short straw.

      I’ve just finished reading “Beyond the Smoke”. A very good read and I hope there will be more Manhattan Sloane stories, but for anyone who missed the first two here on
      Lesfan I would really recommend catching up, it’s a great tri!ogy.

      Sorry for interposing those comments here Billy, but I can see a time you yourself might want to get published. This story is compelling, and I still have hope that you will serve our girls well. Thanks so much for keeping the faith.

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