Out of Closet (TiBette time-travel romance), Ch. 66
Chapter 66: Letters from the past (Bette makes a decision about her future; Tina worries about her future with Bette)

Place: Orange County, CA
Year: Early July 1886

“My dearest Tina…”

Bette rested her head on her left arm, staring pensively into the darkness of the night. The moon was bright and almost full, spreading soft shimmering light but something was rather eerie in the silence and hot heavy air surrounding the mansion. The servants left for the night and Maxine usually stayed in her room after the dinner. On the nights like that Bette often felt alone and incredibly lonely.

Writing letters to Tina made her happy and energized. Any resentment or anger she felt towards her girlfriend for hiding the truth about Christina was gone long ago. Being away from Tina put it all into perspective for her. Some things you just have to let go because life was too short to dwell on something you couldn’t control.

As she reflected on her last fight with Tina and her impulse to go back to her past, Bette understood why Tina concealed the news about Christina’s survival. Being here brought back old feelings and emotions that Christina evoked in her in the first place. Even now she wanted to protect her and be around her, just like before. And even more so now, seeing her pregnant and vulnerable.

True love is not just pure desire, passion and longing. It comes with a feeling of belonging, with the need to protect the other person, to be there for them no matter what, to take care of them and let them take care of you. If Tina would have someone like that in her life, someone she could rely on and love, wouldn’t she be jealous? “Insanely jealous,” Bette whispered and sighed. It was kind of ironic. She couldn’t change what she had already done in the future but she could easily change her past that could affect the rest of her future.

“Ironic and confusing,” Bette shook her head. “Well, I’m here now and I have letters to write.” Bette thought it would be fun to write Tina using older language, to make it more authentic and nostalgic. The words were flowing from under her fountain pen and she smiled, thinking of Tina reading them in the future and reliving the past with her.