Its half six, how’s your mum?

I took a deep breath, I had to get ready to go out, I had to see Millie. I also had to drink a stupid amount of alcohol to make the pain in my chest go away.

I have to get ready. I said, moving past Lizzie without even looking at her.

For the next hour Lizzie and I moved about the flat in silence, I didn’t want to talk and she didn’t want to piss me off. I might have been quiet but it wasn’t quiet contemplation, the only thing that I could hear in my head was; my dad is *****. That was it, over and over again. The same words, burning their way into my mind. My emotions weren’t that much better either; one minute Id be close to tears and the next Id want to kick the ***** out of something. It perhaps wasn’t the best mood to really go out drinking in. But I was adamant about going out, mainly because I needed to be distracted by a large amount of alcohol which was readily available when ever I needed topping up.

The walk to Anathema was hard for Lizzie, she was trying her best to make light hearted conversation with me about practically every subject under the sun. I tried my best to reciprocate but I just didn’t have it in me. It was difficult to have a conversation about which was cheesier; Flashdance or Footloose? When all I could think was;my dad is *****. The two didn’t really mesh together very well.

I don’t think I was the only one who sighed in relief when we made it to the bar. Inside Anathema there was the usual hub of random people. All giving me and Lizzie the once over as we walked in and proceeded to the bar. Before I had a chance to get a drink Lizzie had ordered for both of us, I was planning on getting what ever was the strongest drink they sold. Instead I got a single Bicardi and coke, which was probably a good thing. Lizzie knew I was planning on getting completely wasted, she was just waiting to find out why.