Lizzie found me outside, cigarette in hand and lost in my thoughts.

Whats up Trix, and don’t even bother saying nothing because youre smoking and I know only something big would make you smoke.

I turned to Lizzie, who had joined me in leaning against the railings I had been pressed up against only a week ago by Millie.

Is it Millie?

No, well…no its not her. I said, still undecided as to what my feelings towards Millie actually meant.

So what did your mum have to say?

I fiddled with the cigarette in my fingers, looking down at the ground as if that would make everything better. I knew I had to tell Lizzie, it was just so hard. Saying things out loud always made them so much more real and I really didn’t want this to be real.

I took in a deep breath.

My dads left my mum.

Lizzie was silent, she had known me and my family for a long time and it hadn’t crossed my mind that this would be a big shock for her as well.

Why? she asked, saying the same as I had earlier when my mum told me.

He says hes in love with some guy and theyre living in London together.

Woah, Trix you should of said something. Lizzie said, shaking her head. You going to go and stay with your mum and Tommy?

I hadn’t thought about that, it was the right thing to do, they needed me at the moment especially Tommy. I didn’t want to leave London though, too much was going on. Why does everything have to happen at the same time!

I haven’t really thought about it Liz, my mums going to give me my dads new address, but I don’t think I can even look at him right now.

There was a silence and I heard the scratch of a lighter. I turned to see Lizzie with a lit cigarette in her mouth and putting a packet of Marlboro back in her pocket.

When did you start smoking again? I asked with a smile.