Millie shook her head.

Keep in touch, is that what you really want? For us to just keep in touch?

I don’t know Mill, there isn’t really any other way.

Millie squeezed my hand, rubbing her thumb around my palm. I was torn I knew what she was going to say, it was pretty obvious. But I couldn’t just give up everything and move to LA , how long would it be before we fell out and I had to come back home, on my own, with no money and no job. There were sob stories like that everywhere, spur of the moment lovers making life changing decisions and having it all fall apart before their eyes. I certainly didn’t want that to happen, so maybe Millie and I weren’t meant to be. We had to be grateful for the time we had shared together. I felt my chest constrict in pain from my thoughts, I didn’t want this to end but I had to be strong and realistic. If not for my sake, then for Millies.

I don’t want to just walk away from this, from you.

Millie we don’t know each other, I don’t have the money to go over to LA and then come back home when it all goes wrong.

And what if it doesn’t go wrong, what if its the best decision we ever make. Come on Trix, wheres your sense of romance and adventure?

I couldn’t say how tempted I was, I knew when Millie left I would just go back to the satirical and sarcastic old me but maybe a bit sadder. I had always wanted to travel, but to go with Millie to LA was plain stupid, so many things could go wrong. I wouldn’t know anyone I would have to depend on Millie financially until I got a job, which I would probably end up hating.

My sense of adventure died when I got a job and a flat. I said quietly, looking away.

Millie turned round, forcing me to meet her eyes; she was was pleading with me, begging me to just say what I was feeling.