Alice rubbed her forehead.  “No.  It’s all me.  Jackie certainly used it against me though.  She had a way of finding all my insecurities and then piling them up.  Shit.  I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Alice.  You need to know that I always wanted you.  It didn’t stop with Lara and it didn’t stop with the other women I was with.  The breakup forced me to grow up a bit finally.  I wasn’t ready for a relationship at that time and I ended up throwing away the best thing that ever happened to me.”  Both girls were talking through tears at this point.

“But listen, Alice, I will do this any way you want.  I know I am ready and I know you are the only one for me.  But I will wait for you.  I love you and I think I always have and I know I always will.”  Dana reached across the table and tried to brush the tears off Alice’s cheeks.

“So where do we go from here?”  Dana asked.

“I think we have dessert and then, in the morning, I will go back to my apartment.”  Alice could not meet Dana’s eyes.

“OK.”  Dana whispered. 

Alice left while Dana was on her morning run.  It was a shitty thing to do, but, she knew she couldn’t handle another emotional scene right now.  She left Dana a note and drove slowly away from the beach house as the tears fell.

She arrived at the apartment and opened the door with the new key.  It was much as she left it.  And it smelled musty and was dark and without any life to it.  Although Jackie was in jail, she still felt her presence.  Alice sat on the sofa, put her head in her hands, and cried.

Dana knew Alice was gone for good when she saw the mini was not in the driveway.  She had no desire to stay in the beach house without Alice.  It was just a shell without the writer’s presence to bring it to life.  She packed her things up to move back to her condo.

She called Alice once she got to the condo and could tell that Alice had been crying even though she tried to hide it.  Before Alice could object, Dana said she would be right over and hung up the phone.  She made it to Alice’s in 15 minutes and let herself in with her copy of the key.  Alice was lying on the couch with her arm over her eyes.  Dana went and knelt by the writer.

“Sorry you had to come over…  Stupid me lasted less than a day on my own.”

“Stop that.”  Dana gently scolded.  “I’m never sorry when I get to see you.”  Alice removed her arm from across her eyes and Dana could see the sadness in them.

“Scoot over…”  Dana crawled up on the sofa and curled Alice up against her as the writer started softly crying.   Dana rubbed Alice’s back softly and tried to give her as much comfort as possible.

Dana understood that Alice needed to be on her own.  That she needed to prove to herself that she could stand on her own.  She really did understand.  But it was killing her and it was hurting her Alice.  Dana vowed to herself that she would help Alice through this and try to make it a painless as possible.  Alice had been through enough pain.

Dana pulled the comforter from the back of the couch and wrapped it around both of them.  She then held Alice as tight as she could until they both drifted off to a restless slumber.