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Crossroads- Ch. 15
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Lara turned slowly, and Alice was surprised to find her eyes full of unspilled tears. Furiously trying to hold them back, she blinked. "I know, Alice. Believe me, I’m not exactly thrilled to be worrying you. I don’t particularly relish this kind of attention from everyone….nor do I enjoy feeling generally lousy. Please trust me when I tell you that I am getting a handle on this, and that I think things will be better soon. Okay?" Lara’s face took on a vulnerable earnestness that Alice found almost heartbreaking.
"Okay." Alice could think of nothing more to say that wouldn’t push the envelope. An awkward silence fell for a moment, as Lara smoothed her jacket.
"Let’s go join Shane and Jenny." Lara picked up the bowl of risotto and gave a small smile. Alice noticed that the smile didn’t seem to reach Lara’s eyes. With a sinking feeling, Alice nodded and turned for the door. She’d put her hand on the knob when Lara murmured, "Alice, wait."
Alice turned and regarded Lara with a somber expression. Lara swallowed. "Are we okay?"
Alice reflected for a moment. "Do you want us to be?"
Lara looked stunned. "Of course I do. I told you Saturday, that you are who I want to be with…..I can’t stop thinking about you. But, I know that I’m screwing up….and I don’t seem to know how to stop it."
Alice shook her head. "Lara, you’re not screwing up. But, you are shutting me out. I get the feeling that there’s something bothering you, that you aren’t sharing. If you don’t let me know what it is, I can’t change anything….and that doesn’t bode well for us."
Lara protested, "There’s nothing that you can change. Everything between us is fine."
Alice opened her mouth, but seemed to change her mind. With a short nod she smiled, "Okay. So, if you want to talk about whatever it is, please know that I’m here. And I’d love to listen."
Lara looked relieved. "Okay."
"Now, let’s go join Shane and Jenny before they think we disappeared forever." Alice gave Lara a light kiss. "Really, we’re okay."
Lara smiled. "Good."
As they approached the table, Shane grinned. "Hey Lara!"
Lara responded with a grin and a tight hug. "It’s about time you came home!"
They caught up over dessert and risotto. Alice quietly observed Lara as she laughed and cut up with Jenny and Shane. It’s almost as if nothing just happened. She looks completely at ease. Alice’s thoughts were jumbled as she considered how quickly Lara had seemed to put a mask of control in place. Alice, herself, still felt off balance from the interaction, and noticed that Jenny and Shane kept darting concerned looks her way.
At 9:15, the door to the Planet was locked. Lara took that as her cue to head back to the kitchen. "I’d better help with the final clean-up."
Shane and Jenny stood. "Guess we’d better head home." They’d driven separately from Alice. The women hugged Lara and turned to bid Alice good night. As they wandered to the door, Alice leaned in and asked Lara, "Do you want me to wait for you?"
Lara felt a sinking sensation. She wanted nothing more than to go home with Alice in tow and spend the rest of the evening making love. At the same time, however, she knew that the inevitable would happen and that she would wake from some horrible dream to find Alice concerned. A vision of the nightmare that had begun to plague her sleeping hours sprang to mind. The feelings of betrayal and guilt it evoked caused her to shut her eyes tightly.
Alice grabbed her hand. "Lara?"
She shook her head. The vision of Dana plunging a knife deep into Alice’s chest was burned into her brain. With a choked sob, she cried. "I can’t Alice- not tonight. I’m sorry." She twisted away and headed to the kitchen.
Alice stood there dumbfounded. Shane and Jenny had observed the interaction and watched Lara’s hasty retreat. "What was that about?" Shane asked.
Alice shook her head slowly. "I have no idea. But I intend to find out."
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The beginning of this chapter compensated the slight drop of cuteness level from the last one. Damn Teri for interrupting. :P I really hope Alice will be able to figure out what’s really going on with Lara. It’s going to be a difficult, ’cause Lara ain’t sharing a lot of information with her. :( We all know how inquisitive Alice can be…I’m hoping for that characteristic to pull through. This chapter got me really worried about Lara. She’s outdoing herself. And no, I never heard of the Pipettes. I just listend to some songs. It kind of reminded me of the Grease-soundtrack (and yes I do have that one in my collection too). I think some songs could probably become one of my regulars. Ok, to add one odd music couples…Sara Bareilles and Gorillaz. But serioulsy, you schould check out the site last.fm…we are not the only ones with odd music combinations! :D
ooooooooooooh alice is all set to find out about lara now…interesting…post more soon!
if lara does not start talking to alice then she will lose her can’t wait to see what will happen next please post soon great update I love it
Wow, great update – I was pleasantly surprised to find it a little early! I love the interaction between Alice and Lara in this one – Lara wants so badly to be with Alice, but she can’t fully open up to her until she gets herself sorted out. Hopefully, she’ll let Alice help her deal with all her problems soon… of course, I’m happy to wait for that pay-off, since it adds such a great underlying tension to their relationship! I also thought the horrific nature of the dream she had was pretty realistic. Given everything that has happened between Lara and Alice, and the fact that Lara is still haunted by her grief and guilt over Dana, it makes perfect sense that she would have a nightmare like that. Can’t wait to see how all of this plays out – and, I’m sooo glad you decided to give us more than 15 chapters!
Sexcellent! So well done: now we’re privy to more of what is going on with the dream that is wigging Lara out and her reactions are starting to make more sense. But she’s got to articulate things to Alice, pronto. Maybe with the help of her therapist? So she can get herself healthy in mind and body. What a creepy thing for this poor woman to have bottled inside. But it also shows that Dana remains a key character not to be simply forgotten. I just wanted to yell to Alice at the end there “Go get her in the kitchen!” Alice is a champ with confronting that yes, something is wrong, yet she remains steadfastedly supportive by nudging Lara in the direction of opening up sooner than later. And it’s nice that she seems to do so without weirding out, thinking it’s all her fault. I’m looking forward to finding more about potential underlying causes of Lara’s nasty dream, i.e., why this is taxing her to such an extent. This Lace relationship is so textured because any problems they have individually have the potential to be dealt with in the obvious respect, caring and attraction these two have for one another. Lara, don’t mess it up now, and for the love of The L Word, don’t run AWAY! I agree with bluemini, the tension you’ve got going on with these two is awesome. Makes for such excellent reading. Yay to more than 15 chapters, and yay for updates, please post as soon as you can and keep up your great work!
Just so you know. I love that you’ve made someone other than Alice the most neurotic one in the room (for the time being at least). Sleep deprivation and loss of body weight is definitely affecting Lara’s judgement –and not in a good way. On the other hand, her new menu sounds scrumptious!
Ahh, another good chapter. Recurring nightmares certainly do take their toll, at night as well as through waking hours. Let’s hope she can talk to Al about them, without it wigging either of the two of them out too much.