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    Day nine, letter nine

    Today I signed on a new sculptor to a show in the spring. Melissa Dubois. I know you studied a little art history at UNC and that you enjoyed sculpting in particular. This artist uses the human body as her focus, often with light coming through cracks in the core or neck. At times, her sculpture is headless and contorted, dark. And yet the light prevails, sometimes shining dimly through a barely discernable crack and other times bursting out in abundance. I wept the first time I saw her work and am drawn even now to each piece as I look through her portfolio. That light exists, even in the darkest and most twisted of forms, moves me deeply. Gives me more hope than I have had in a very long time. A storm blew through last night, the wind howling and raging and tearing leaves off the trees, overturning patio furniture. I reveled in it, sitting by the window and watching as the lightening and the slanted rain washed everything away. Hours I sat there, Tee. A front row seat to the conflict within. And this morning, colder air but a freshness too, like the city had been scrubbed clean, waiting for a new dawn. Waiting. Just… waiting.


    They settled blissfully into a whirlwind of sex, consumed with the loss time, the need to reconnect physically, the desire overwhelming at times. It reminded them both of their early days when the sex was so new, fresh and explorative. Nowhere was off limits, the kitchen, the shower, even outside by the garden all revisited in their urgency to be together. Both had been celibate while they were apart, focused on making it through the day and their separate journey to heal. Not wanting to take another. Waiting.

    This afternoon was overcast, gray, the rain sitting in swollen clouds daring to fall. Bette lay on her back, naked, propped up on several pillows with Tina’s body resting between her legs, her head on Bette’s stomach. Bette ran her fingers through the silky hair, slowly, gently. Tina’s head was turned to the side and Bette couldn’t tell if the blonde was awake or not. It was peaceful, a tiredness creeping in her bones after their marathon sex, a pleasant tiredness that felt restorative at the same time it made her want to sleep.

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    1. I believe this is the clearest most concise and believable explanation as to why Bette hooked up with Candace that I have read. It certainly was not in TLW. And yet she still takes responsibility for her actions as did Tina for her actions. I particularly like that Tina pronounces the entire episode of their life over…basically they have discussed it, revealed their souls and deepest beliefs on matter and it is now over. I just hope the both really mean it.

      I find this chapter to be really special. This chapter shows how far they have come in their ability to reveal their souls and how much they trust the other. For with their revelations, they are trusting that the other will not be judgmental about it or use it in the future as a weapon. I particularly like that Bette does choose this moment when they have been making love and a lying naked with each other to talk about this. There is no place to hide. Neither can just jump up and run out the door if they decide they do not like what they hear. This is when Bette feels the closet to Tina, but it still take courage to reveal to Tina how she felt so shut out and so helpless during that period. And much of that was Tina’s doing. They were in truly the perfect storm which tore them asunder. Fortunately, not permanently.

      I love that they are getting back together and talking and bonding in such a special way. They are truly laying a good foundation for their future….

      Thanks for this story…..more soon I’m sure.


    2. Oh my god, this was awesome!!!!

      The why has been answered, no question about it and just what i already thought.
      At first i thought what a weird place, cozy and blissfull relaxt after a marathon session, in bed. But what Tina already thought in her mind, Bette opens up if she feels save and this was for her the place were she feels save and loved.

      It is really sad they both wanted and needed each other but couldn’t express that after they lost their baby boy. It lead to Tina pushing Bette away, sometimes literally and Bette to fall into C. hand who could take, temporarely, away her feelings of pain, failure, lost, etc. And it didn’t help because afterwards she felt more sad then ever.

      The Why talk made sense and you wrote it perfectly without going into to much details with the actual deed between Bette and C. Tina didn’t want and needed that, just as me, so thank you for that! Bette opened up fully to Tina and Tina handled it with care and love. Now they have to make sure they will talk and go to each other if they will go through a rough patch again.

      The date, the limo, the dinner, the drive around the neighbourhoods and making Tina’s dream come true, very romantic!

      A wonderful chapter! Thank you BK!

    3. Repeat the sounding joy! I will remember this line and this chapter for a very long time. “And Bette reached down to lift Tina’s dress, delighted to find that the blonde was not wearing any underwear, her skin warm and soft and wet in all in the right places. She finger fucked her while “Joy to the World” played softly on the radio, Tina’s limo dreams all coming true in one evening.”

      So the waiting is over. For both of them. I love that Bette felt safe enough to open up to Tina and Tina heard her, no judgment. We all knew that for Bette to have taken that extreme step meant she was in a world of hurt and pain. Tina, though unspeakably hurt, did not make Bette suffer or jump through hoops. No probation for Bette. Understanding and forgiveness.

      The other comments, Martha and Bibi, say it so well, and I totally agree. This Tina is now the partner Bette needs. Able and willing to lift her up when she is feeling unsure, unsteady and ready to fall. And this Bette is now the partner Tina needs. Her love is so pure. So permanent. She is so present and aware. Taking Tina to dinner in the limo. Knowing how much Tina loves a limo ride. Bette showed Tina through her actions that she is the only person on the face of the earth who matters – that she is number one in all things.


      • Bette has always wanted FIDELITY in her most cherished relationships . . . and with a willing partner, she’s finding that in a mischievous, playful, Tina . . . A MONOGAMOUS life-long friendship and soulmate

        “And you… Bette. You look like Christmas and New Years and my birthday all rolled into one delicious, fantastic package. You sure you want to leave this house?”

        And Bette knew Tina loved that too, making out in a limo a secret thrill she had confided to one drunken night after a Studio opening.

        Tina popped the sunroof and made Bette stand up with her as they slowly drove down block after block, the cool wind in their face and Christmas, Christmas all around.

        And Bette reached down to lift Tina’s dress… She finger fucked her while “Joy to the World” played softly on the radio, Tina’s limo dreams all coming true in one evening.

        Both were able to move forward knowing what the other needed when everything fell apart around them.

    4. Bk thanks for a sizzling day nine! I thought my screen would catch fire because of all the hotness oozing out of the chapter. I am so happy about T + B having their priorities right again and being all over each other, hardly being able to keep their hand off each other. But it’s not just sex, it’s intimacy, touches, caresses, breathing the other in, getting to know each other again and re-discover each inch of skin of the other again. Strengthening the force field.

      Now to the C-factor. Good thing that Bette apologized. But I’m not quite … there … yet. I suppose I expected more from her … without knowing what exactly.
      I understand that she lost the connection to Tina, she felt lost, overwhelmed by the responsibilities, thinking that she could have somehow prevented the miscarriage to happen, feeling the pressure of being the strong one. But reacting by cheating?

      To quote Bette: “It was stupid and immature” Exactly! It is one thing to enjoy the attention of another woman, to feel wanted and engage in flirting. But it is another thing to have sex outside of the relationship. More than once.

      On the other hand Bette can’t undo what happened. She can’t do more than apologize and try to explain why she did it and what she learned from it. Now it’s out in the open, all is said and done.

      BK you found the perfect moment for the C-talk. It’s important that Tina said she won’t make Bette pay for it over and over again. Bette learned a lesson for life, she won’t do it again but she has to forgive herself. The same goes for Tina. She won’t make the mistake again to take Bette for granted and shut her out like she did after the miscarriage. Even Bette can’t read minds.

      I’m sure for T + B the C-situation will not be more than a faint memory of their past. I’m not so sure about Alice though. I can totally see her bring C up again if she feels that Bette and Tina are too happy for her liking. I can see another deadly return from Tina or from Bette, like my favourite bullshit-remark in the previous chapter.

      Thanks for brighten my day, BK. Stay safe and take care of yourself and your family.
      I’m going to watch Mamma Mia now for some good ABBA vibes ;-)

    5. BK,
      I’m so not used to having such goodness EVERY DAY. you are spoiling us. im all caught up and…I love this story. the letters…I could read an entire book of these letters. they are heart wrenching and romantic all at once. I love that tina is wooing bette…and bette is wooing tina. ugh these 2. I wish they would have this talk on the show…re: Candace…I have always thought that…at that time…bette felt so helpless and she didnt want to be in control or in charge because she felt like she failed on all fronts. so she was vulnerable to Candace’s pursuit. tina was dealing with the loss of the baby by throwing herself into work. but in your hands…it’s even better…because it’s completely over…tina is shelving it, not using it against bette. true forgiveness. this is a beautiful story and it’s a gift to read every day. thank you!

    6. BK,

      Wonderful chapter & I agree with all the other comments. Nice scene at the end with dinner & the limo ride – who could resist.

      But the biggest moments in this chapter was the talk about C. I never saw C as a strong character. To me she was a snake in the grass, just a viper waiting to strike. Had no redeeming qualities at all. Didn’t think she was attractive either.
      So when Tina told Bette C wasn’t her type – how true that was.

      Deep down, in that soul of hers. Bette never wanted to me like Melvin & his manipulative ways or his cheating character. She wanted more for herself & a relationship that was true, honest & honorable. But because of her lack of emotional upbringing & her failure to ask for help, she turned away & got lost. Tina did the same – she allowed her fear & uncertainty to rule her actions & behavior.

      Now that they have talked it all out & finally put it to rest, they can finally move on & into the next chapter of their lives.

      Thank you for this journey & the forgiveness to & from each of them. It was necessary & so very welcomed. It renewed their faith in the other & touched their souls.

      Can’t wait for what comes next & the BIG finish!!!!

      Great job & thank you for this holiday gift!!!!


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