Broken, fixed, she, me…….

So I read her letter over and over. I remembered how she acted when we first met. It was like she hadn’t seen me in a long time. It was like we already knew each other. I remember how she knew just how I liked her in bed. It was unreal how well she knew me. Everything about her perfect. Her perfect body, her perfect soul, her prefect dark demented humor, perfect. Just what the doctor ordered………

I went back to my hotel. I did what I felt familiar doing. I walked in the shadows. I avoided everyone who could know me. I did a little research. I was drunk enough to feel a little out of control. I was drunk to feel confident that I was loosing it big time. She can’t just leave me like that with an “I love you but I am sorry.” Sorry about what? We just met; we hadn’t had any disagreements that I knew of. She had to explain something to me. She had to explain why I had memories of us, us in a cabin in the snow. She had to explain that to me. She had to explain why……why say “I love you” in a letter, why not tell me. She had to explain that name………

That name. Afansankov……..it was the name of a Russian mobster. The internet helped me find out all I needed to know. Oh yeah some strange memories about that name….and somehow not remembering my childhood, or possible friends, instead that name………….

Pavel Afansankov, regal, tall handsome if you liked that kind of thing….blonde hair blue eyes…..you could say the man is perfect looking…..for a man.

Born 12/26/1975.

Former figure skater for Russian national team.

Banned for life for doping scandal involving members of his team.

Father head of reputed crime family in New York City.

Currently at war with Tambellini crime family.

Arrested for various crimes, including murder, drug trafficking, racketeering, and a slew of other misdemeanors.

Currently residing in Las, Vegas Nevada?

None of this made any sense to me. None of it.

Memories of unreal surrealities?

Call it instinct. Call it fate, or call it a fucking insane coincidence but things were not adding up for me. I had this violent past, the scars on my body quite evident of that yes…..then I met this wonderful woman. But something isn’t right. the odd things she said. The way she kept waiting on me to say something to her. It was like she was waiting for me to wake up. It all made my head hurt more and more the farther I travled from her.