Before I could answer and before I could reach for that leg in my face, she gave the bench a little push with her foot and all of a sudden I knew I was about to take a painful tumble backwards.

Hey ONE, what the ***** . . . and as I started to tumble backwards I tried to grab that gorgeous gam but missed and flailed my arms to keep from hitting my head on the pavement behind me.

And as I flailed wildly I hit K smack in the face as she slept beside me, sleeping so peacefully, so unaware of my lunatic dream. Not only did I smack her HARD, IN THE FACE, I accidentally knocked her totally off the bed and onto the floor tossing the sleeping Elvis right on top of her.

She hit the floor with a thud, screaming in pain and holding her eye as our border collie somersaulted in the air before landing on her chest.

BEACH, WHAT THE ***** ARE YOU DOING YOU ***** MORON? JESUS CHRIST, GIRL.

Hearing K scream my name woke me up with such a jolt that I too knocked myself out of the bed, on the opposite of K and the mutt. My eye was still stinging as I guess I had really poked myself during my dream and the two of us lie there, on opposites sides of our king sized sleeper moaning in pain.

It took me less time than it took my lover to figure out what had happened and I scrambled up on all fours and crawled around the bed to check on K.

She lie there flat on her back holding her eye. Elvis, having rolled off her, lie on his back with his four paws straight up in the air as if he were dead.

Oh my gawd, babe, I am sssooo sorry, I apologetically stammered as I crawled toward her trying to get close enough to see the damage. Here, let me see, I said as I grabbed her hand and looked at the deep scratch on her cheekbone left by my wedding ring. I could tell by the swelling which had had already started that she would definitely have a shiner to try to explain to her customers and friends.