“I ain’t settling for anything less than everything.”

            Bette turned off the radio as the song ended.  She knew that with Jodi she was settling for less than everything.  There was only one everything and that was Tina.

            As she reflected, Bette chuckled to herself that this line of thought was prompted by a country music song.  In ultra hip, cool, fashionable, West L.A., country music did not belong. Tina, true to her southern roots, occasionally listened to country music.  It was her little secret.  After Tina left Bette following the Candace fiasco, Bette sometimes found herself listening to country music as it reminded her of Tina and made her feel closer to her.

            She missed Tina: the southern drawl that occasionally made an unexpected appearance, that secretive listening of country music, the way her hair was always such as mess first thing in the morning.  So many things to miss.

            Bette’s thought’s drifted to another country music song.  She actually liked the Dixie Chicks, though she would never admit this to anyone.  “And the peaceful quiet you create for me.  And the way you keep the world at bay for me.”

            Tina had kept the world at bay for Bette.  When things were good between them, Tina created a sanctuary into which Bette could so easily emerge herself.  During the quiet times with Tina, the rest of the world just went away and it remained only the two of them.

            Longingly, Bette thought of laying her head in Tina’s lap, feeling her lover stroke her hair.  At times like that, no one existed in the world but she and  Tina.

            Now, that sanctuary was gone and it appeared that it would never return.  As such, Bette faced her dilemma.

            Objectively speaking, Jodi made such a good match for Bette.  Her fiery temper, her passion about art, her ability to be a formidable opponent for even Ms. Porter at her worst, made Jodi seem like such the perfect choice.

            On the other hand, put simply, Jodi was not, nor could she ever be Tina.

            What was Bette to do?  Bette Porter knew she was a prime catch.  Successful, attractive, intelligent, she was a woman who should not be alone.  Countless women would crumble for the opportunity to have a chance with Bette Porter.  Therefore, why should such a hot property remain off the market forever pining for what once was?

            On the other hand, what once was remained the one thing that Bette truly wanted. 

            Put simply, there could be no replacement for Tina.

            As Bette walked out to sit by the pool, drink in hand, she continued to ponder.  She thought about convention wisdom.  The problem with conventional wisdom is that it is completely contrary.   “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” vs. “out of sight out of mind”.  “If you love someone set them free” vs. “never let you go”.  “A penny saved is a penny earned” vs. “live for today for tomorrow we may die.”

            So, what would be the conventional wisdom here?  Bette hadn’t a clue.

 “A little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing?” Or, “I ain’t settling for anything less than everything?”  Thus, Bette Porter’s dilemma.