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Double Vision 13
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“Mother” warned Helena and Estelle simultaneously.
“What? I can’t even say ‘love’? You told me not to say ‘lover’ and you should be thankful that that’s all I’m saying and not asking her if she’s slept with you and how many times and if she considers you to be just a notch on her bedpost…”
“No”
“…and if she intends to be around for long…”
“I do”
“…and perhaps longer than her last relationship with…”
“Tina”
“…which lasted for about…”
“9 years”
“… and with whom she has a…”
“Daughter. Angelica”
“… and whether she has any problem at all with children…”
“Not at all”
“… even though I should be asking her that, as grandmother to your children…”
“Wilson and Jun-Ying”
“… whose names I really am capable of recalling by myself…”
“I know, I’m just showing off” grinned Bette. “And to answer your first question? Yes. It is love.”
“I see. Don’t think it escaped me that you skipped a few questions that followed”
“I’m sure it didn’t, but that’s on a need-to-know basis”
Peggy laughed uproariously “Oh I like you”
“Thank you. I’m glad” Bette smiled as she turned to their wide-eyed spectators “Your daughters don’t seem to be talking very much”
Peggy glanced at the stricken faces. “I do believe they’re just glad I didn’t ask you any of those questions”
“Mother!” sputtered Helena, hardly knowing whether to be horrified or embarrassed or …or… glad… glad that Bette didn’t seem to be bothered at all.
Estelle sat back in her seat, still reeling from that cunning speed-round of an interrogation. Well! That’s half the battle won already, then. If Mummy likes Bette, it can only help in bridging the gap between her and Helena. Speaking of gaps, where the hell is…
“Oh hello hello, my darlings!” Alice announced herself in an odd, clipped tone. Falsetto. ‘Nuff said.
Oh no! Estelle stood up quickly, trying to tell Alice to drop the accent.
No such luck, Alice was going all-ahead full. “Oh I do apologise for being so late, m’hearties” No wait, that’s pirate-talk. She corrected herself hastily “M’…dearies?”
“Al? Why are you talking like…” started Bette, for this was quite the spectacle, even for Alice.
“Aaaand this would be Alice” interrupted Estelle loudly, trying to drown out Bette and Alice, who was still puzzling over a suitable replacement for ‘m’hearties’ “Alice, my girlfriend”
On cue, Alice chittered coyly, making everyone wince.
“I see” murmured Peggy, taken aback. “How are you, dear? I’m Peggy Peabody”
“Oh I’m very well, thank you, Peggy dear” replied Alice, wondering if it was too much to squeeze in ‘Oh’ and ‘dear’ in the same sentence. She decided it was fine- she’d heard that posh people always had an ‘oh’ at the beginning. Not an ‘oh’. An ‘oh’
A little snigger escaped Bette but was quickly silenced by a jab from Helena, who also seemed to be holding back laughter.
Estelle glared at them both. She tried to push Alice into a chair. People from the other tables were starting to look.
“Wait!” exclaimed Alice hastily “I mean, oh wait! I forgot to kiss you!”
“That’s really not…” Estelle had to pause as her lips received a smacker from Alice “…necessary”
Pleased with herself, Alice sat down, twirling her hand elegantly (or so she thought) at Bette and Helena “Oh and how’re you, Bette dear and Helena dear?” Honestly, the ‘dear’s was cluttering up her lines.
Peggy hid a smile as she wondered why on earth Estelle was trying to fool her into thinking this was her woman. She’s sweet and seems amusing enough, and she is blonde. She could very well remember numerous blondes being granted Estelle’s company. Though they seemed to be more of that type, thought Peggy as her eyes landed on a blonde woman just entering the restaurant. And sure enough…
“Tina!”
(tbc)
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Great chapter. I was crying with laughter because of Alice. “Oh I do apologise for being so late, m’hearties”. LOL.
Yey first comment! Thanks so much Monkeywrench (I DO like your name!)Glad this is making you laugh, m’hearty! :D
well dear vvitchy you made us wait a long time for this but it was soo worth the wait. Tears were rolling over my cheeks when I read the inquisition and some time later Alice. Well done sweetie you made my night. PPS
Yay! An update and a damn good one at that too. So…Tina has arrived, that will be so interesting. And Helena and Bette are so cute. I loved how Bette answered Peggy’s questions too. Alice was a hoot! I could totally see her doing that just for the hell of it. Great update.
A mess……..an absolute mess in the making….and I love it!! B didn’t know who was who…but is expertly handling Peggy….Peggy is being…well Peggy…Hel is absolutely smitten (brain out to lunch)…Al is loud and wrong (but so right…LOL) Estelle, well she has Alice and now Tina!!! ROFLOL…Just PPS
Awesome update M’hearty! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!! ALice is too much honestly. I love the way Bette handled Peggy and i find it amusing that Helena didn’t know she knew her mother. Now…why is Tina there??
That was so fucking funny, damn Alice. Love the way Bette talk to Paggy and now Tina is there and let see whats next, thanks! Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!
hahah okay, the audience has voted and I think “m’hearties” is a winner!! I’m still chuckling ^o^ Now I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen with Tina on the scene! (hmmm which was how you ended your other story, too…so symmetrical, you are. :P )
My only regret was that I left this for so long to read! This was soo funny!!!!And aw Bette and Helena were just made for each other weren’t they? I think I’m gonna start flying that flag a lot higher again. And you’re making me want to get writing again too! Great job babe. I hope you post soon :)
Laughing and spewing out loud over Alice’s comment.Good to see you again
This was funny…Estelle should have known anything could happen with Alice as her date. What was Tina doing there? Did she know about the dinner plans? If she didn’t this should make for an interesting conversation. Keep posting.
OMG ! This should be so funny and interesting ! What a fantastic cliffhanger, Vvitch ! You sure know how to make your stories thrilling and enthralling, dear ! This just couldn’t get any better. And I just can’t wait to see how this dinner is going to “unfold” now with Tina entering the stage. I’m soooo enjoying this fanfic. Oh, and Peggy Peabody is such a great character ! I truly love her interactions with Bette. Their witty discussions… Those two really are on the same page, aren’t they ? It seems to me they know and understand each other so well. Sometimes I even think they do better than Bette and Helena ( but only for now, of course ). In fact, I’m pretty sure Peggy will be able to read Bette’s mind. I would even go so fare as to say that Peggy only “interrogated” Bette because she wanted to show Helena that she really cared about her, about her happiness… But I’m actually pretty sure that Peggy knew right away that she could trust Bette to be the perfect person for her beloved daughter. I’m sure she had no doubt about Bette’s intentions and I believe she must have felt “relieved” the minute Bette entered the restaurant.Anyway, did I mention I loved this kind of drama ? Did I make it clear that I loved this chapter ( and the previous one, btw, that for some reason I had missed ) ? I beg you not to make us wait too long for your next installment, V, as I’m already holding my breath. By the way, I think you should consider renaming this chapter ” Guess who’s coming for dinner ? “.
OH, V dear, that’s fantastiqueeee…
I’m so glad I read this at home!!!! I was really crying out loud from laughing!!! Priceless! You should warn us “DON’T READ THIS AT WORK! COULD GET YOU FIRED AS YOUR LAUGHS WILL BE HEARD FROM YOUR BOSS’ OFFICE NEXT FLOOR!” Really, vvitch, you overdid yourself another time! Thank you really much for this incredible piece of comedy. I sooo love Bette interactions with Peggy and Estelle. And next one is Tina’s time!!! At last!!!
one word: WOW!!!, going direclty to the next chapter now.