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Double Vision 17
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“Well, she better not bloody have…” Helena was still muttering as they both took their seats.
Estelle patted her sister’s hand “She didn’t, dearest, she didn’t. In fact, she was telling me how well the dinner went the other night. It went well, didn’t it, Bette?”
Having already witnessed the Peabody Twins Personality Swap whenever they discussed their mother, Bette sat unperturbed. She knew Estelle was in fact the only person who could calm Helena when it came to this. Thus, she was content to let Estelle take centre stage (for this moment only) and for her to become the Temporary Mm-Hmm Supplier. Truly a credit to her title, she now offered “Mm hmm”
Alice, however, had no such inclinations to be quiet, and she gaped, as boorishly as the occasion demanded. “What the hell?” she looked at the twins as if they had… [Author’s note: *pause* well, to say ‘as if they had grown extra heads’ would be too lazy an analogy and frankly, it’d gross me out. So I’ll go for something totally unthinkable and say: *unpause*]… as if they had let their backbones melt, gambled their money away, and played doormat-and-general-arse-wipe to one bushy-eyebrowed female with the name starting with a C. And no, it’s not the four-letter word you’re thinking of, though it would be fitting. I mean, who the hell does she think she is, using our Helena as a…
“Ahem”
I look up from my keyboard (the computer keyboard, of course. I don’t play funky synthesizer music keyboard things) to see Alice glaring at me.
“Kindly stop hijacking my lines”
“I’m not hijacking your lines” I huff imperiously
“Yes, you are. Look, you can vent all you want about Catherine at any other place, but not through my voice in this story!”
Sulking, I sit there mutinously.
Tapping her feet, Alice asks snottily [Author’s note: Did that word make you think of snot? Good! Serves Alice right!] “I demand to resume control over my dialogue right now”
“Fine fine FINE!” I mutter under my breath, as I start typing again “I try to give them interesting lines and this is the thanks I get? Jesus f…”
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Panda, you’re WRONG! Our dear V here has a silkily smug voice. A clear example: When she goes “look, your saxaphone girl is there.” then, “You’re SOOO easy” (silkily smug voice)… BLEAH. :D
well i’ll be damned…you’re back…i ain’t mad atcha’ cause i know what it’s like to be crazy busy…but damnnnnnnnn….okay, now that i’ve finished calling you out…Loved the post as usual and I will patiently, okay very patiently await the next post….
First of all, let me say that you have absolutely superb taste in reading material. As a senior member of Mathemagicians, Inc, our hat is off to you for the free *deadly eyebrow raise* publicity. In the words of Bartles and James, “Thanks for your support.” AND please take note of the MB memorial of this monumental event!! On to the story….*pointing and giggling* You are crazy!! I can imagine you and Al having this “other-worldly” argument. Actually, I’m tickled that you actually think you won. Don’t forget that Al is just buck wild and out of control!! heheheh Hmmm a “back peddlin'” Bette and the contrasting powers of “mmmm hmmm”…very nice touches. Quick question: Umm…was the use of the S word the reason for the oh so high VPG-13 rating? hehehehe Seriously PPS
Man, I love these light-hearted verbal joults ! I just love them ! Too bad Bette was no never really participating to this one, but more of a ” victim “… LOL ! Anyway, everybody, I’m very proud and honoured to announce that the brilliant rhetorical flourishes and creative verbal jousts that we always expect of Master V are back !!! And geez, I love your very unique expressions and analogies, V. In fact, do you mind if I borrow some of them ? Please ?… I could certainly use some of your wit when I hang around the “mathemagicians and friends” thread. I swear I will pay you copyright dues… I mean, I almost fell out of my chair laughing twice while reading this chapter ( and both times it was an auhtor note that cracked me up ).Did I mention how talented you were ? Anyway, I can’t wait to find out what Peggy is up to. Please post again soon. And thanks for this wonderful gift.
Oh how i miss this story V, i LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! You are a comedic genius!! i want more!! Please?… pretty please?… pretty please with sugar on top?… :D
wooohooooo! i’ve been waiting for this sequel! so very very clever, and so very very well written:) i love the exploration of helena’s familial connections, and of course, i love your take on belena. pps!!!
“Alice. You’re annoyed” came the silkily smug voice of Bette. I swear the silkily smug voice is your alter-ego, dear author! :D That was good! If I had coffee, it would be all over my keyboard! (no I don’t play those funky piano like things) LMAO!!!! BUAHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHAHA!
aw she’s back ! Finally we missed you hun. great update as ever, you really cracked me up here and I needed that as my writing isn’t going that well lately. PPS
Hilarious, as always! Your Author’s Notes always crack me up. And you arguing with the characters! Although I also can’t believe Helena put up with that evil bitch, known as Catherine! Anyhow, I wonder what Peggy wants to talk about… it’s cute when the twins switch personalities when it comes to their mother so I predict that this shall be interesting.
Lovely update, vvitch! Love your personal touches. Estelle is such a hoot and I like they way Helena can’t stand her mother. And the Mmmhmm title is LMAO. Great job. Thanks for posting this. Can’t wait for the next update.
as always your stories make me giggle especially in those bits where you insert yourself lol post soon as otherwise i may have to do some work and noone wants me to do that lol
Yay! An update! I was actually wondering just the other day what was happening with this story, if it was gonna be updated or what. Nice to see that you haven’t given up on it ’cause it’s always an entertaining read. It’s definitely never boring, that’s for sure. As a matter of fact I find it to be really quite funny. And I completely agree with you about love triangles; I don’t like them either. I find them to be rather annoying. But I don’t agree with you about Catherine’s eyebrows; I actually like them. I don’t think they’re bushy, they’re just not pencil thin. I think she’s a very attractive woman, but I *cannot* stand the way she treats Helena. She should be thankful to have Helena in her life and in her bed. She should be treating her like a princess, a goddess, like the most precious creature alive (I’ve got a little crush, can you tell?). Instead she treats Helena like a servant, and that is so not cool. Anyway, I wonder what Mummy Dearest wants. I’m hoping that the next update doesn’t take quite so long in coming, but I’ll refrain from nagging.
Rebelzz…Vvitchy doesn’t have a silkily smug voice!! It’s more a British Pip with a down under twist!! LOL!!! AND Vvitchy!! Loved the update and alas..you beat me..no surprise there…you yet again brought on the brink of craziness with this chapter, well done!! Can’t wait for more!!
Love this story, they are funny and Alice is crazy but love her anyway. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Babe, this is absolutely, absolutely, did I mention absolutely??? It’s absolutely funny. I vaguely remember the other chapters but this one had me grinning so widely that you’ve now made me want to go back and read the others! :) You’re a really clever writer and I think claricestarling (is she still around BTW?) says it very eloquently…I can’t believe you’ve stopped writng! ‘MORE MORE MORE’ I say.