Fan Fiction
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Double Vision 17
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“Get on with it!”
Right. On with the story.
Anyway, Alice was shocked, and she made her shock known, by again sputtering “What?… How? ….You? ….Estelle?”
“Yes, I’m Estelle” came the patient reply.
“But you’re being… nice…”
“Hey!”
“And and… Helena… you’re being… bitchy”
“HEY!” Helena’s hey [well, what else do you call it? A hey is a hey is a hey] was much louder, for she had some residual annoyance after having mentioned her mother.
“It’s true though…” Bette couldn’t help piping up
Helena’s eyes swung to her girlfriend, and a deadly eyebrow rose
“…even though it isn’t” amended Bette hastily and quite lamely, deciding to leave Alice to fend for herself.
“You’re just so brave, aren’t you, Porter?” Alice rolled her eyes. She looked at the twins “Seriously, you two. You don’t see it? You don’t see how you two just switched personalities? What’s your beef with your mother, Helena? I mean…”
“There is no beef” murmured Helena uneasily
“… and jesus, Estelle, your voice even dropped a few notes there” An involuntary squirm escaped Alice “kinda sexy though, but anyway, let’s not talk about…”
“Yes, let’s talk about that!” interrupted Bette quickly, trying to maneuver the subject away from Helena and her mother. But alas, poor Bette could do no right.
Helena turned to Bette. If eyebrows could kill… “You want to talk about Estelle having a sexy voice?”
“No no!” Bette backpedalled so fast you’d think bicycles were better ridden backwards
Estelle smirked, knowing exactly where this was going. Let Bette work herself into a corner. She’d step in just before the fatal headshot
She pulled a face “No! Of course it’s not sexy! It’s quite nasal and…”
“Bette. Maybe you should stop n…” spoke up Alice, trying to help
Oh, but Bette was speeding away. In the wrong direction “…and there’s a croaky frog-like tone to…”
Oh joy, this WAS going to be fun. Estelle and her inner voice was in hysterics
Helena’s second eyebrow rose to lethal heights too “You do remember that my twin sister and I have more or less the same voice. Do you think I sound like a frog too?”
“Fuck! Just kill me now” Bette buried her face in her hands and slumped back in her chair
Finally giving in to her laughter, Estelle laughed uproariously. “Good god, Helena! Some days, you’re worse than me!” She looked down at her phone as it started to ring. Rising from her seat, she poked her sister on the shoulder “Give the ol’ girl a break, dear. Kiss and make up while I go take this call”
Alice threw up her hands. “Now I’ve seen everything! Estelle’s saving Bette from Helena! And man, who’d have thought I’d see Porter bend over backwards trying to explain herself!”
Helena’s face broke into a slow smile. She reached out and placed her hand on the back of her lover’s neck, caressing softly “She doesn’t do it often, then?”
“Nope, this is a first” Alice replied, tilting her head “You have quite an effect on her”
“And she has quite the effect on me” Gazing at her still-silent love, Helena murmured “Baby, your pouting lips are making me quite amorous”
Despite feeling her lips curl into a smile, Bette continued to pout “That’s what I was trying to say about your voice”
“Aww, Darling, I knew you weren’t being serious. You should’ve seen your face as you were trying to explain yourself” Seeing Bette pout even more, Helena placed a lingering kiss.
“Alright, alright, break it up, you two” said Estelle, re-joining them at the table. Despite her jovial tone, she was anxious, and Helena picked it up immediately.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“What, no, nothing’s wrong…”
“Estelle” Helena quietly demanded to know.
Estelle sighed. “It’s Mummy. She wants to speak to us”
“About?”
Estelle simply sat there, looking at her sister silently.
“Shit”
(tbc)
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Panda, you’re WRONG! Our dear V here has a silkily smug voice. A clear example: When she goes “look, your saxaphone girl is there.” then, “You’re SOOO easy” (silkily smug voice)… BLEAH. :D
well i’ll be damned…you’re back…i ain’t mad atcha’ cause i know what it’s like to be crazy busy…but damnnnnnnnn….okay, now that i’ve finished calling you out…Loved the post as usual and I will patiently, okay very patiently await the next post….
First of all, let me say that you have absolutely superb taste in reading material. As a senior member of Mathemagicians, Inc, our hat is off to you for the free *deadly eyebrow raise* publicity. In the words of Bartles and James, “Thanks for your support.” AND please take note of the MB memorial of this monumental event!! On to the story….*pointing and giggling* You are crazy!! I can imagine you and Al having this “other-worldly” argument. Actually, I’m tickled that you actually think you won. Don’t forget that Al is just buck wild and out of control!! heheheh Hmmm a “back peddlin'” Bette and the contrasting powers of “mmmm hmmm”…very nice touches. Quick question: Umm…was the use of the S word the reason for the oh so high VPG-13 rating? hehehehe Seriously PPS
Man, I love these light-hearted verbal joults ! I just love them ! Too bad Bette was no never really participating to this one, but more of a ” victim “… LOL ! Anyway, everybody, I’m very proud and honoured to announce that the brilliant rhetorical flourishes and creative verbal jousts that we always expect of Master V are back !!! And geez, I love your very unique expressions and analogies, V. In fact, do you mind if I borrow some of them ? Please ?… I could certainly use some of your wit when I hang around the “mathemagicians and friends” thread. I swear I will pay you copyright dues… I mean, I almost fell out of my chair laughing twice while reading this chapter ( and both times it was an auhtor note that cracked me up ).Did I mention how talented you were ? Anyway, I can’t wait to find out what Peggy is up to. Please post again soon. And thanks for this wonderful gift.
Oh how i miss this story V, i LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! You are a comedic genius!! i want more!! Please?… pretty please?… pretty please with sugar on top?… :D
wooohooooo! i’ve been waiting for this sequel! so very very clever, and so very very well written:) i love the exploration of helena’s familial connections, and of course, i love your take on belena. pps!!!
“Alice. You’re annoyed” came the silkily smug voice of Bette. I swear the silkily smug voice is your alter-ego, dear author! :D That was good! If I had coffee, it would be all over my keyboard! (no I don’t play those funky piano like things) LMAO!!!! BUAHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHAHA!
aw she’s back ! Finally we missed you hun. great update as ever, you really cracked me up here and I needed that as my writing isn’t going that well lately. PPS
Hilarious, as always! Your Author’s Notes always crack me up. And you arguing with the characters! Although I also can’t believe Helena put up with that evil bitch, known as Catherine! Anyhow, I wonder what Peggy wants to talk about… it’s cute when the twins switch personalities when it comes to their mother so I predict that this shall be interesting.
Lovely update, vvitch! Love your personal touches. Estelle is such a hoot and I like they way Helena can’t stand her mother. And the Mmmhmm title is LMAO. Great job. Thanks for posting this. Can’t wait for the next update.
as always your stories make me giggle especially in those bits where you insert yourself lol post soon as otherwise i may have to do some work and noone wants me to do that lol
Yay! An update! I was actually wondering just the other day what was happening with this story, if it was gonna be updated or what. Nice to see that you haven’t given up on it ’cause it’s always an entertaining read. It’s definitely never boring, that’s for sure. As a matter of fact I find it to be really quite funny. And I completely agree with you about love triangles; I don’t like them either. I find them to be rather annoying. But I don’t agree with you about Catherine’s eyebrows; I actually like them. I don’t think they’re bushy, they’re just not pencil thin. I think she’s a very attractive woman, but I *cannot* stand the way she treats Helena. She should be thankful to have Helena in her life and in her bed. She should be treating her like a princess, a goddess, like the most precious creature alive (I’ve got a little crush, can you tell?). Instead she treats Helena like a servant, and that is so not cool. Anyway, I wonder what Mummy Dearest wants. I’m hoping that the next update doesn’t take quite so long in coming, but I’ll refrain from nagging.
Rebelzz…Vvitchy doesn’t have a silkily smug voice!! It’s more a British Pip with a down under twist!! LOL!!! AND Vvitchy!! Loved the update and alas..you beat me..no surprise there…you yet again brought on the brink of craziness with this chapter, well done!! Can’t wait for more!!
Love this story, they are funny and Alice is crazy but love her anyway. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Babe, this is absolutely, absolutely, did I mention absolutely??? It’s absolutely funny. I vaguely remember the other chapters but this one had me grinning so widely that you’ve now made me want to go back and read the others! :) You’re a really clever writer and I think claricestarling (is she still around BTW?) says it very eloquently…I can’t believe you’ve stopped writng! ‘MORE MORE MORE’ I say.