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Driving — Chapter 22
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Out on the sidewalk the midday sun was blazing and the sky was clear blue. Tina wondered if that unique energy she had felt here a few days ago would return and help her to relax. She was so aware of Bettes presence beside her, at once familiar and strange. She would not reach for Bettes hand during this walk or feel Bette reach for hers. She took a breath of the spring air and looked away.
The beautiful spring weather and an arts festival running this month had brought crowds of people to town. Bette was glad they had people around them on this walk. It seemed to insulate her a little from Tinas hostility and her own uncertain thoughts. She was so happy to see Tina, so happy to have her nearby again, and yet she had no idea how to begin to talk to her about what had happened between them.
The cafes and restaurants were packed with customers and as they walked down the block different delicious aromas drifted their way. Bette heard her stomach growl. She smiled self-consciously.
I couldnt eat anything earlier, she said.
Well, thats one thing we have in common, Tina said without turning to look at her.
They stopped at a crosswalk. Bette glanced over at Tina.
I took the liberty of making dinner reservations for tonight, but theyre not til seven, do you want to get something now?
Tina looked at Bette, annoyed.
Whats wrong? Bette asked.
It just seems like youre making a lot of assumptions and plans.
Its just dinner. I thought wed want
You shouldnt assume you know what I want about anything.
Bette was taken aback by Tinas sudden anger.
Im sorry.
The sign changed to walk and people passed them to cross the street. Some turned to look. Tina felt overwhelmed by anger and sadness. She suddenly felt trapped here with no space of her own. She didnt know where to go, but she wanted to get away from Bette right now. She turned away from Bette and began to walk. Bette followed her. Tina, where are you going?
Tina kept walking and didnt answer. Bette kept following. At the end of the block, Tina hesitated for a moment before running across the street. She kept running. Bette had to stop for a car. *****, what is going on? She sprinted across, the horn from an approaching car piercing the air. Tina was way ahead of her, but she kept on until she closed the gap between them. Tina, Tina please stop. Bette reached out and grabbed Tinas wrist. Tina spun around and yanked her arm from Bettes grasp. Dont! There was fury in her eyes, and Bette stepped back. Sorry, Im sorry, she said quickly, panting and raising her hands in the air.
Tina put her arms up in exasperation. I just dont want to be near you now.
Because I made a dinner reservation?
Tina shook her head. Its too soon, Bette. I can barely look at you without wanting to cry or yell. She felt both converging in her throat. *****. She put her hand to her head and looked down.
Bette was stunned at how quickly the tide had turned between them and desperate to keep Tina from leaving.
She took a deep breath. Ok, take some time. But please, all I ask T is that you dont leave yet. Please dont leave. Come back to the hotel later. Please? Bette was aware that she was begging Tina for this, and she didnt care.
Tina looked up and into her eyes. She saw Bettes desperation and her sincerity. She sighed heavily. Ok, she said quietly.
Bette breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you.
Tina walked away, leaving Bette to figure out just how wide this chasm was between them.
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first off, love your story, second I so agree with shadow, how long do you hold unto anger, I can see trust coming slowly, but somewhere, of the love is so strong between two people, there has to be a starting point. If Tina doesnt fell that at all, then it is time to cut Bette loose. sorry, just a comment, I know this is your story, and I love it
thanks for the update- always enjoy reading your writing.
Woo that was hard wasn’t it? nice work.
Whew! I just exhaled, apparently for the first time in minutes. Good heavens, I feel like your story is reaching in and clenching my heart without mercy. At the beginning of the chapter, I was thinking how well you conveyed the tentativeness and apprehension for both of them, and I was holding on to the possibility or, dare I say, hope that they would start to bridge the gulf between them as Bette has left herself wide open for Tina. Then *POW!* Tina not only can’t take that step forward, but slams the door! Me thinks somebody would benefit from a little therapy, or at least listening to dear ol’ mom! You left me deflated, so please don’t be remiss and leave me down for long. I need you to remove those talons from my heart. (And I’m not even a huge B&T fan!) Thank you for this amazing story.
I like this story. There is anger but also love. I am looking forward to where this is going. Thanks!
found out a long time ago tohold on to angry, you need to think of the person.So Tina is thinking of Bette,wish she would throw in some good time instead of all the bad things. Love Tina and Bette together,but if Tina can;t think of good,they just need to walk away and start a new life for them self. Tina gets mad at everything that Bette trys to do. thanks
Wow, this was so full of raw emotion. Great chapter.
It seems Tina hasn’t see Bette since three weeks or a month. And to see her, anger and all emotions come back. It’s natural. Infidelity isn’t a thing easy to forget and to forgive. Even you were in a profound love, maybe it’s still more hard. Just time help. But Tina needs to talk or unless to hear Bette, it’ll be a beginning.
Thanks for your story.
Please just let whatever was in the air, when Tina was there, with her mom, that relaxed her, to engulf her again. She needs to lighten up. Or open up and start the communication, even if it is a whole lot of yelling.
Wonderful story, great poise, the pace makes it feel very real, combined with your wonderful writing is a great read – thank you.
I understand Tina’s erratic emotional state–wanting to see and talk to Bette after however many weeks apart, but not able to find the words or space to allow the necessary dialog to start the ever important conversation. Maybe, Tina was premature to think she would be ready to confront Bette on her infidelity and their marital issues. There’s nothing wrong with taking more time for oneself to regroup and process. I’d rather that happen, so long as it is communicated that that is what the other person is doing, than to be completely abandoned with nary a word either way. Yes, Tina was excessively harsh, leading me to believe that she really hadn’t taken the time to process her relationship or Bette, rather she used the time to stew in ire over the betrayal. This Tina is not ready to communicate; so, I say, give her more time, but be honest with Bette because she too has the right to “process” even if she was the one to sever the relationship completely by cheating.
Bette, Bette, Bette. You broke the girl’s heart and shattered her self-esteem. You can’t just ride in and micro-manage a reunion. (Even if I’d like to see Bette toss Tina over her shoulder and take her back to the hotel room…well…)
Need to remind myself that this story is soon after the breakup. (And keep hoping for those hotel room scenes.)
But Tina honey, you’re there, you might as well listen.
I think your story and ‘The Chase’ by Olives might be the ones where Tina expresses some ambivalence about continuing the relationship. Usually, it is just physical distance that separates them, and by the time Bette and Tina are back in close proximity, reuniting is a fait accompli. The way you are handling this is much more realistic, shocking but fair, given what Tina has been through.
The course of true love never runs smooth, does it? Especially when one partner has violated the trust that must form its foundation.
Thanks for posting again so soon!
I like how you are setting the stage for this intense and much needed discussion that is quite evident these two need to have. Enjoyed this chapter. Looking forward to the next.
Wow, great chapter. Such intensity. Can’t wait for the next one!
Intense, but realistic. I look forward to your next installment.
I like how you are showing it is not easy and you don’t always know what you feel until it overwhelms you. Great writing
Disappointed in the outcome of the chapter…thought it was going in a different direction, but you write it and I’ll read.
Damn this is sad!
sheeeeit. tina’s pissed. ;) like your story.
Sad but very good. I hope they work it out.
Massmom,
I so look forward to your chapters…I have a question. How long does one hold on to anger? Does the profound love that once was felt,get completely erased by anger so that all that is left of that memory is an empty page? I guess I am asking because I have never been able to sustain anger for longer than a few hours…it takes too much energy for me to be mad longer than that. I worry that Tina has held on to her anger for much to long. In real life I would tell her to either let it go or move on.
Maybe Bette should urge Tina to cry and yell, get some of her anger out of her system. Baby steps. Great update.
Wow. Very intense, very realistic flood and flare of emotions. Even standing right next to each other they still have so far to go before they’re with each other again. As always, I’ll be looking forward to your next installment. Thanks so much for this story.