She had no means of answering the questions, they just ran about her mind with no answers in sight, leaving Tina with only one choice, coffee, a good strong coffee.

—

Dana was pacing the house. She loved the silence at dawn in this house. She wasn’t sure if she should have been staying there, but Julia had convinced her to go home. She was surprised by how good it was to talk to her. Julia was pretty new to LA and hadn’t really known the girls for long. Well she knew Tina, but that was in NY. That also made it handy, she was one of the only people who didn’t know the whole history of Alice and Dana, so she could listen with an openness and judge purely on the actions, not the expectations. Dana hated expectations. Her entire life she’s been struggling to meet everyone’s expectations for her, and her life. So Julia listening and offering advise without judgment or expectation was wonderful. Until now, only Alice had been able to make Dana feel like there were no expectations on her. That is the biggest reason she couldn’t forgive herself. She had always treated Alice the way with such regard because for the first time in her life, she was being entirely genuine. Alice expected nothing, so Dana didn’t have to do any of it. She did it purely because it was what she wanted. And now, Dana destroyed that.

It was so hard for Dana to sit idly by and give Alice the space that she had asked for. Sitting in the home they had shared for years, there were so many memories, so many happy memories. Even the memories of the arguments made Dana happy. Until now, all of their arguments only showed how much they cared for each other and the veracity in which they would fight against something one perceived to be a risk to the relationship. Now they fought over something neither could claim was something done to preserve the relationship. Dana had treated the relationship as ancillary and for a moment, given only a few moments, had forgotten all they shared and the love that held them together.

Dana was brought out of her brooding by the doorbell and was surprised to find Bette standing at the door, with coffee and muffins in hand. It was well before Bette’s normal social hour.