We tremble incessantly. The rivers overrun, the world stops spinning, there’s just the two of us, making love, fucking lovingly, and this is not fucking but still is fucking and oh, I am so in love with her and she knows it, she knows everything.

“Oh God… Shane… That’s it. That’s it… Jesus…”, I hiss, panting, into her ear. Her sweated hair tickling my face. The scent of her cologne mixing with her natural scent and we kiss again. I open my mouth taking everything of her, licking her lips, nibbling her chin.

“I love you Carm…”, she murmurs, her voice sounding gruff, throaty, rasping, “…You feel so good… so good…”.

Her muscles trembling, vibrating, and I know she’s close and I slow my path and her breath itches. I smile, my eyes still closed, as she stops moving inside of me as well. I sense her. I feel her. She’s everywhere, she’s everything. She really is.

And I move again and she lets go a long, low moan, coming hard. As soon as my hands grab her shoulders she’s thrusting again inside of me, and I can only circle her hips with my legs and let myself go, pushing my nails deeply inside her back, moaning something and then shouting. The pleasure she gives me sweeps me away.

”High is the way, but all eyes are upon the ground.
You were the light and the way they’ll only read about.
I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out.
Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough;
You’re going home…”

**

I walk on the edge of the water, the ocean is magnificent. The rhythmic noise of the waves crashing on the shore seems to keep me alive more than everything else, in this moment. Tonight is going to be the night. I can feel it in my bones.

Tonight will be the end of everything and when I said to that man that I will kill him, I really meant it. This is it. I left the Corps because I didn’t want to kill anybody anymore. I left the Corps because I was tired. I had been injured, and badly, but that was not the reason.

NOCS didn’t want me out. It was me. I was the one asking to be discharged. I was tired. Cassandra was worried. I didn’t feel well anymore seeing dead bodies everywhere and the begging faces of the hostages, looking at me and waiting for answers. Not only they needed to be rescued, they also needed to know why we were there, why an Elite Corps was sent to save them. Why their life just couldn’t go on regularly, like the existence of any other people.