Out of control, completely, fucking and making sweet love at the same time and Carmen is right, that’s all we need to come back to life. To come back to our life and God, I so want her. I need her so much, she’s everything I need and I’m so into her in every sense.

Carmen pushes my head down, moving me where she needs to feel me the most and there is this groan escaping my mouth. A groan of pleasure, of love, of longing, of hope and despair at the same time. Carmen yells and I sigh, looking up, seeing the perfect landscape of her naked limbs, that flat stomach, the rounded breasts, the portion of skin under her chin, the hair spread on the crumpled pillows.

She keeps her eyes closed, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, and she bites her bottom lip as her fingers run across my hair, draw the outline of my jaw. I suck them and kiss them and interweave them with mine and I kiss her hips.

“Please… Please, baby, don’t stop …you’re so good…”, she begs with a liquid voice, pushing my head back on her pussy, and I smile, inhaling the precious scent of her pleasure, making her orgasm again for the umpteenth time today.

”That’s the end – and that’s the start of it
That’s the whole – and that’s the part of it
That’s the hide – and that’s the heart of it
That’s the long – and that’s the short of it…”

Thirty minutes later, she busts me crying alone in the living room, an unsmoked cigarette dangling from my fingers. I’m only wearing my boy shorts and she appears in my field of view wrapped in a sheet and nothing else. Her hair wild, her cheeks still reddened, her eyes deep like foreign universes.

Her smile disappears when she sees my tears and she frowns a little. She runs toward me silently, her naked feet soundless on the floor, and kneels down in front of me. She places her hands on my knees and ducks her head to a side, watching me carefully.

“Shane…”, she murmurs, and her voice sounds painful. I shake my head and dry my eyes with the back of my hand. I toss the cigarette aside, furiously.