“It’s okay”, she whispers under her breath, looking down. She’s hurt and I feel it.

“You were upset”, Dante chimes in with his low voice, “You are allowed to feel sorry. But you are not allowed to feel guilty”.

I stare at him and feel my eyes burning.

“Why?”, I murmur.

“Because there wasn’t anything intentional, or willful, in your behavior. You didn’t hurt anybody on purpose. On the contrary, you just wanted to do something good. The only thing is… Sometimes what we think is good…well, it’s not that good. Right?”.

He squeezes my hand. I look down, at the polished floor. He squeezes my hand again, claiming my attention.

“Right?”, he repeats, quietly.

“Right”, I nod, slowly.

“…Shane, with the exception of John Sanders, I don’t think you ever wanted to hurt anyone in your life. Am I right?”.

“Yeah”, Carmen says at my place, “Yeah, you are”.

“Yeah”, I confirm, “At least, I think so”.

Dante tilts his head to a side. His short hair is wild.

“We all have our demons, we all have out ghosts and regrets and levels of remorse. If I ever did something for you guys, I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. If I could turn back time, I would help you again. And now that we – that you – are free, I am not willing to accept to see you depressed or remorseful for this shit. Am I understood?”.

I look up at him. He’s deadly serious and I swallow.

“You are”.

“Good. You’re a fantastic person and you have a fantastic wife. Enjoy what you have and stop looking back at someone who’s not you. That’s bullshit”.

I take a sniff and try to smile, feeling relieved. His words so simple, so right. I glance at Carmen, and she’s silent and stares at me with eyes so full of hope and love that I ask to myself: is this really me? Is this how they really see me?

I grab Dante’s hair and tug a little.

“You so need a haircut”, I chuckle holding back the tears.

He rocks his head playfully.

“Well, I’m a lucky guy. I have a friend who is a hairdresser. Do you think she’ll cut my hair when I get out of here?”, he exclaims, pouting.