“I am here”, he answer and I know he’s smiling. And when I turn around he’s right in front of me and has the most intense green eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. I open my mouth in amazement and he just shrugs his shoulders.

“See, mom? I have Shane’s eyes. Just like you wished”, he says, smiling again and suddenly I feel like crying and I look at him squarely, trying to absorb every little detail of his features.

And he is mesmerizing. He mustn’t be older that fifteen. He has thick dark hair, a tanned complexion and Shane’s eyes and posture.

He is my son.

“What’s your name?”, I ask feebly, as a tear rolls down my cheek and he moves a step forward me.

“I don’t have one. I could have had many, but I don’t have one”, he just answers sheepishly and my heart breaks. Right. He’s right.

“Shane and I thought…”, I whisper, trying hard to gather my thoughts, “…we thought to call you Samuel…”.

The young boy smiles a melancholic smile.

“Samuel…”, he repeats in an inaudible mumble.

I look up at him and swallow hard.

“Why am I here?”.

“Because you’re dreaming, mom”, he answers, still smiling at me. He looks so serene, he looks in peace. And I feel so desperate. So lonely, despite he’s here with me.

“I can’t be with you when you’ll wake up”, he states, like he’s reading into my mind, and I nod my head, raking my fingers through my hair.

“I know… I know, baby. I just…”.

“Miss me?”.

“Yeah…”, I let go a desperate chuckle, and he shifts on his feet, a little.

“I miss you to, mom… You and Shane….”, he murmurs gently, “…But I don’t want to see you here… Not now, not this way”.

Another set of tears rolls down my cheeks as I take his hand and I feel his warmth. Like he’s really here, like he’s real, like he’s not my neverborn child. He squeezes my hand gently.

“You must be careful, mom. You and Shane”, Samuel says, “There’s someone who thinks that me being the only one here is not enough”.

I pull him towards me and we hug, tightly, and my legs tremble and shake and I would like to stay here with him forever.

“Samuel…”, I murmur burying my face in the crook of his neck, and feeling how easily his name rolls on my tongue, how easily his name comes out from my mouth, how easily I love him.

“Mom”, he says, placing his hands on my shoulders and pulling back a little. His green eyes fixed into mine.

“Mom, you gotta wake up now”.

I shake my head stubbornly.

“No, I don’t want to wake up. I don’t wanna leave you… not again”.

“Mom, listen to me”, he says gently, “There’s something important you have to remember when you’ll wake up”.

I part my lips and let go a long, shaking breath.

Samuel’s eyes are sweet and sad.

“Three of everything”, he murmurs, before my vision blurs.

TBC