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“Please don’t go. Please… ”
And so… Tina had stayed.
Agreeing to lay down with Bette so she could finally, blessedly sleep, she had put Bette to bed and laid with her, on top of the blankets on the other side, as she watched Bette fall asleep, the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat.
The words not able to clear the hurdle that was her brain. The words she couldn’t say, the words etched on her Soul… but her Heart was running… running in the other direction. And Reason was nowhere to be found.
She had some more news for Bette, news that would devastate her, news that she didn’t know if she could say out loud. News her girlfriend Carrie was expecting her to share, she was becoming increasingly vocal about her frustration that Tina was “dragging her feet…”
They had fought about it earlier today on the phone, Carrie annoyed that Tina had left without telling her, annoyed that almost ten days had gone by without Angie knowing.
Tina had heard about Alice and Nat and Gigi, the infamous “Throuple”, and frowned thinking she had inadvertently created a Throuple of her own, a completely different threesome but one that would break someone’s heart just the same.
The third member of her Throuple – the invisible heavy existence of Carrie – seemed to lay in the bed between them, her presence filling the room, filling Tina… with unspoken angst, hurt and… what exactly?
Because Carrie had not joined this Throuple handing out orgasms to ex-wives and loading dishwashers and reading bedtime stories… no, not at all. Carrie had come to Tina bearing engagement rings and whispers of a quiet life, a peaceful life. An escape.
And Tina had accepted the proposal, believing then, that she needed a quiet life, a peaceful life.
She was tired of fighting for her own space, for her voice to be heard in a world that Bette moved through at warp speed. Bette would argue, and had, that she never asked Tina to fill in the gaps of her life, that she would never expect Tina to be content with the edges, the leftovers of a busy, determined spouse. A spouse who loved as large as the impact she had on the community.