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    Remember Who You Are 19… an interlude

    Jodie was in the midst of a major temper tantrum.


    She had already smashed most of the canvases within her reach and was looking for something else to hit, to pummel, to destroy. Preferably something like glass that would make a delightfully loud shattering noise and satisfy the rage in her mind and match the sound in her heart.

    She had never ever been angrier, never been more rattled. She prided herself on being unflappable, untouchable.

    Nothing ever got to Jodie fucking Lerner.

    Nothing except Bette fucking Porter.

    There was no question she had fallen for Bette. Hard. Dating a hearing person was tough enough but when the hearing person also struggled to communicate? Well that was near impossible. But she persevered because she had been captivated by the swagger, the confidence, the power Bette commanded.

    And her body, holy fucking hell… Jodie wanted Bette the minute she met her.

    They first night they had fucked – for it was almost always fucking – Jodie had come immediately. It had been amazing; Bette had been masterful in the way she had teased and led Jodie to a release that eclipsed all others.

    However, she always felt Bette never completely let go with her, never really gave herself to Jodie one hundred percent. They never made love… Bette resisted anything that resembled love making… preferring to use her fingers rather than her mouth on Jodie. Sometimes Jodie would look at Bette while they were fucking and she seemed a million miles away, there would be tears in her eyes, but she always had a reason and Jodie desperately wanted to believe her.

    But she had not planned on letting Bette into her heart. And Bette had torn it up and spit it out for what? Tina? Boring, placid, weak Tina. Tina fucking Kennard. Jodie threw her hammer across the room, feeling better when it struck a can of paint and knocked it to the floor, spilling red paint across the wall behind it.

    The article in ArtNexus had completely unraveled a reputation that she had spent years cultivating and pushing through. The piece in the magazine was the culmination of phone calls from reporters asking for her comment on the growing rumors that she had lied about her work in the movie.

    Page 1 of 3123


    1. Go Tom!!! All the chickens have come home to roost. And in reality, Jodi has done all of this to herself.

      As to Jodi’s knowledge that Bette was not a good communicator, how would she know? Whether hearing or not we never know what is in another’s mind. And for those who use words, they do not always have the same meaning from one person to another. For example: When Tina tells Shane that she loves her, we know that this is the love of friendship or for family simply because of the relationship between the two. But when she tells Bette she loves her, it has a much different meaning. Its an expression of devotion, romantic, committed relationship that she is expressing. Yet the words are the same. So when Bette says I love you to Jodi, is it as a friendship with benefits or is it a declaration of commitment? And how do we know what Jodi heard (saw) was the same message as what Bette sent.

      I’ve always wondered how the hearing impair perceived and processed verbal communications. Reading body language is a big part of it. A big part of emotion is reflected in the volume of the voice and sounds. And volume cannot be perceived accurately by the hearing impaired.

      I imagine that when people misunderstand the communications being sent, then they make false assumptions. I have no doubt that Bette really did not love Jodi. I don’t understand how they got together in the first place. Everything that Bette considered of value in her own relationships, Jodi was simply did not want. Children needed too much attention, monogamy was not her life style, and using others to promote your own self worth was the norm. Jodi is not on my most favored list. Jodi’s self centered behavior made Bette’s behavior look like a charity worker.

      I feel sorry for Jodi in this. But she brought all of this about by her own actions. I hope she has some friend abroad because she needs to leave the country.

      thanks for this chapter….really satisfying end for dear Jodi.

      • You make a really good point about the difference in intent that can be picked up when you also can hear the words being said as opposed to lip reading or non verbal cues. I think Jodie made a lot of assumptions about Bette and I agree with you that they did not want the same things. I understood the physical appeal of them wanting to be together but Jodie consistently disregarded Bette’s opinions, her job and her well being.
        I felt like there needed some closure for Jodie in this story and it moves in a surprising direction in the next chapter.
        As always I appreciate your thought responses and attention to every nuance in the story. Thank you.

    2. Powerful “interlude”, my dear author !
      The scream of the mute, a total cry of rage – an internal explosion and the worst punishment ever for such a manipulative and egocentric person : not only falling for someone who never really loved her but above all being professionally destroyed – and thanks to Bette and Tina together.
      For anybody else, I could have find a bit of pity but not for Jodi. This character was absolutely unbearable, for me, since she summarized everything I cannot stand in a human being.

      Your story is more than ever captivating and intelligent : thank you SO much for your work !!

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