“You’re right,” Tina said quietly. “You’re absolutely right. I was horrible to you. I said things I can never take back. But Bette, I need you to understand something. I didn’t choose Darren because I loved him more than I loved you. I chose him because loving him felt easier than loving you.”

“Easier how?”

“Because loving you would have meant changing everything. It would have meant admitting that I was gay, that I wanted something different than what everyone expected from me. It would have meant being brave, and I wasn’t brave, Bette. I was a coward.”

Bette moved closer, her anger warring with the pain in Tina’s voice. “So you chose him because he was a man?”

“I chose him because he was safe. Because being with him meant I could keep pretending that what I felt for you was just friendship. Because being with him meant I could have the life everyone expected me to have – the husband, the white picket fence, the kids. I could be normal.”

“And look how that worked out for you.” Bette knew she was being harsh. All the anger and pain she had been holding in all these years threatening to spill out. God how she wanted to scream at the entire world. Tina choose safety over her best friend who she claimed she was in love with. Bette couldn’t help but feel the wounds growing deeper from that revelation. But she couldn’t trust that Tina was telling her the truth about her feelings. She didn’t know Tina now and she wasn’t ready to find that out

Tina’s face crumpled. “I know. I know, okay? I fucked up. I fucked up so badly, and I lost you, and I’ve been miserable ever since. Do you know how many times I picked up the phone to call you over the years? How many times I started to write you letters?”

“But you never did.”

“No, I never did. Because I was still a coward. Because I was still choosing the easy path. And now look at me.” Tina gestured to herself. “I’m thirty-three years old, getting divorced from a man who was never really my husband, and I’m falling apart in my childhood bedroom because the only person I’ve ever truly loved won’t even look at me.”