A rap on the door makes me jump and shriek. Alice. I open the door and step out.

I didnt mean to scare you.

Its okay.

Youre now officially starting to worry me.

Im starting to worry myself.

Wanna talk about it?

I nod, sniffling, wiping my face off. I fucked up.

What happened?

I sit down in the grass and she sits next to me. The grass tickles my legs. The space between our van and and the SUV parked next to it feel very insulated and safe. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Alice puts her arm around me. I’m reminded of Dana’s wedding, the way we comforted her.

I open my mouth to tell her but then I hear footsteps in the grass.

Shane walks around from behind the van. She sees us and her eyes widen. “Sorry,” she says. “Uh, I just gotta get something from the van. Excuse me.”

“It’s fine, Shane. We’re just talking.” Alice doesn’t seem to get why Shane is so skittish.

Shane opens the door and Alice looks at me. Now she knows something is up, becaue I haven’t said a word to Shane.

I feel unsettled, unsure if Shane was telling the truth or not. Was she really coming to get something out of the van? I don’t know why, but I don’t think so. If so was she following Alice? Or was she following me?

“D?” Al says, so quietly that Shane can’t hear. “What’s going on?”

I feel the van shift slightly as Shane moves around inside. I shake my head back and forth fast, and she takes the cue and shuts up.

“So how did you meet Kyle?” I say.

She smiles, and I smile back, glad to see that someone is happy. “I met him at the magazine,” she says.

“He’s cute. He’s really nice, too.”

“Yeah,” she grins.

Shane jumps out of the van. “Sorry guys,” she says, and shuts the door. Then she’s gone.

She’s good at pretending nothing’s wrong. No wonder Alice didn’t have a clue until seeing the look on my face just now.

A worse thought occurs to me – maybe nothing really is wrong, because she doesn’t care about me anymore. The tears start again. God, I’m ***** sick of crying.