I stand at the crosswalk waiting for the light to change, twirling my ponytail around my finger. Hot September winds are blowing everywhere, making me feel messy and uncomfortable. My hair sticks in my lipstick. Sometimes I wish my hair was straight. I could blow-dry it straight but that would take damn near forever.

I press my lips together to even out my lipstick and when several people surge past me I realize that the light has changed. Im on my way to Sunday brunch with the girls.

I cross the street and turn the corner onto the block of the Planet, thinking about Shane. I hate the way I feel, though I love it at the same time. Im twitterpated like a stupid little girl and completely, utterly, powerless. I hate the way my heart quickens at a thought as mundane as Sunday brunch, at the mere through that Ill see her any minute now.

She knows I feel for her as more than a friend, but still she stays, and I know thats progress. Lots of progress. Damn near impossible, in fact. But still when Im near her its holy exquisite torture. Because I want more.

But I dont ask a thing. I dont demand a thing of her, and I more than live up to my promise of earning her trust. I keep the depth of my feelings, my pining and my tears, to myself. Some moments, like right now, I feel that I wont be able to effectively contain all the things inside of me. And when I hear the sound of her truck, which lately has a hollow pinging that indicates its on its last legs, its just too much. I walk, trying to be cool and in no way reflect that my heart rate has risen. I have a desire to put my head in my hands and hide.

Then I hear a loud voice coming from the truck, higher than Shanes. Hey baby! Shake that *****!

I whirl around. Its Jenny. I almost dont recognize her because of her short hair, cut short in an extremely gamine Julie Andrews do. Shes grinning from the passenger seat of the truck, and I can see Shane behind the wheel, smiling as she looks for a place to park.