“No baby I understand. But you should know that I want to… give you…all of me, but there are so many circumstances that hold me here.”

“I know, plus I’m like asking you to move thousands of miles away from your family, and that’s not really fair to you or them.”

“So what do we do? I don’t want to fall into that “I’ll call you everyday” or “I’ll write everyday” bull shit, because eventually you or I ‘ll forget to call there by crushing the other person. And eventually we’ll be thinking that the other person is with somebody else there by driving ourselves crazy from thousands of miles apart. And eventually we’ll end up hating each other but not wanting to hurt the other person we’ll drag them along and let them go when we need them the most. You mean more to me than some teenage, summer, puppy love, I don’t want to hurt you.” Bette finished her ranting and looked to Tina for a response.

“I don’t want to hurt you either. But baby I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s going to happen when I go home either. I just know that I’m here, right now with you. As much as I enjoy having you as my lover it’d kill me if you weren’t at the very least my friend. A relationship is what I want, but your friendship is what I need.” Tina finished and let the tears she was fighting fall down her cheeks. Bette went over to Tina and held her as they both cried together. Both knew that the end was an inevitable force that was going to be severe and hurtful. But for the time being, with out words, they agreed to be in the moment and let the future unfold before them.

…………………….

Bette woke first and had fortuitously fell asleep with her and Tina on top of the covers. Tina was snuggled under her and was warm enough under Bette, but Bette was freezing seeing as how she forgot to put her shirt back on. As soon as Bette got up and put on a shirt she looked and saw the expression on Tina’s face as she realized Bette was gone and so was her human blanket. Bette then decided to shower and fix dinner because she knew Tina would be hungry after their little kitchen escapade. With her hair in a wet ponytail she headed into the kitchen and remembered that she left the groceries in the car. After getting the groceries she began making her Nanna’s “chicken tamale casserole.” She remembered telling Tina that she was in for a treat and promised to make it for her.