She wanted to drive away; she wanted to leave the city, to disappear, to leave everything behind. She wanted to feel numb, invisible, to stop the time and take some time to breathe.

And then, as she was driving along the coast, her phone rang. Surprised, as it was too early for Dana to be out of the OR, Bette pulled the car off the road and scared to death, answered it.

Yes? She mumbled, fear all over her body.

:”..ehohhiyesyesno, no ..is okI was, am drivingyeah (giggled, a bit faked but surprisingly invigorating) you in LA?…yeahsure.. we can have lunchokyeah I know the placeoksee you in an hour”

Placing the cell on her lap, Bette looked ahead, to the endless road in front of her. She didn’t want to think about anything, wasnt going to. Sighing deeply, she turned the engine on and carefully tuned around driving back to the city. She drove all the way home thinking about Dana, hoping for Alice to call her, to let her know.

After a long relaxing shower she dressed up, it was an elegant restaurant so looking into her the closet she grabbed her favourite tailored suit. The Jill Sander’s with high heels that she always wore on special occasions. It felt great, she thought looking at her imagine reflected on the mirror. It’s been so long since she wore it that all of a sudden she felt strong, confident again.

“Wow!” Said Manny from the kitchen, “.you look great” he added.

Nodding, smiling trying not to find guilty in accepting the compliment, she asked.

“Is she asleep?”

Nodding, Manny pointed the garden where Angelica was happily asleep in her crib. Watching her, caressing her soft velvety skin, Bette felt her cell vibrating.

Yes? She whispered taking the call.

Al?… yesyesokshe asleep?…ok.yeahwhen?….ok, thanksyeahI’ll be back…sureyou ok?…yessure I love you too Althanks for calling”

Nodding, trying to compose herself, Bette smiled, realizing how easy it was sometimes to say those words, “I love you” when they meant nothing and everything, when they were free and easy. She loved Alice, even after all those years, she loved her even more. She was someone she knew she could count with. Unlike Tina, Bette thought, feeling her insides tightening.